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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Exh harassing me? I'm not sure...

11 replies

Littlemissindependent · 28/07/2017 13:46

Split 3.5 years ago. EA. Have dd (3). Vile messages last night that have made it crystal clear exh is using social media to keep tabs on me, despite me having security settings as tight as possible. Dd and I are moving in a few weeks and exh suddenly talking about moving somewhere less than 5 mins away. Starting to feel concerned that he is still trying to control me and make me question who I can trust. Have tried to go nc and all contact etc to go through a third party but now he's trying to drag said third party into this. Don't know what to do.

OP posts:
Afterthestorm · 28/07/2017 13:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ElspethFlashman · 28/07/2017 14:02

If you're NC and are going through a third party how can he be sending you vile messages? Haven't you blocked him?

Littlemissindependent · 28/07/2017 14:06

He was blocked, temporarily unblocked and subsequently forgot to reblock him. Through 3rd party today I've been told he's said that 'someone' showed him a photo on social media which led to his horrible messages. Which now has me questioning who the hell I can and can't trust. Sat here feeling sick as I feel like I'm never going to escape him

OP posts:
Hissy · 28/07/2017 14:10

Change your number and move. Set up a new FB and lock it down.

I would also take the messages to the police and start harassment proceedings.

there is no need for contact, not when you are being threatened like this.

Littlemissindependent · 28/07/2017 14:28

Stupidly I deleted the messages. I desperately need to find a way to stop being intimidated/scared by him

OP posts:
Afterthestorm · 28/07/2017 14:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 28/07/2017 14:38

I would contact the police re this matter. Sending vile messages even via social media is itself a criminal offence.

WhateverNameIsStillAvailable · 28/07/2017 14:42

I'd get off Facebook completely. Obviously one of ur fb friends has shown him a picture.
Any more messages from him completely ignore but keep as proof.
You might need somethING like a restraining order in the future by the sounds of it so keep all proof.
Maybe change plans on moving and move somewhere else and don't tell anyone only ppl u trust completely.
If that's not possible then keep ignoring him and if you have to go to court and get a different third party who won't tell him everything.

Hope you're ok.
Ignore as best as you can. X

Littlemissindependent · 28/07/2017 14:56

I know this is what he wants. He can't stand me being happy. I'm so fucking sick of living like this!

OP posts:
ElspethFlashman · 28/07/2017 15:11

Look, it's Facebook. It's literally meant to be shown to the world. You will never ever ever be able to stop people showing him your profile as long as you're on it.

But if he had been blocked you would be completely unaware, yes? And ignorance is bliss.

So just chalk it up to experience, block the shit out of him, reiterate to third party you don't need the drama, and live your life.

Disregard the shite about him moving. That was just posturing. It'll never happen.

Aquamarine1029 · 28/07/2017 17:33

The only way for you to stop being controlled by him is to stop letting him control you! So what if he sees pics of you from going out? That's his problem, not yours. Unless it has to do with your child, stop communicating with him about anything else.

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