Who has undermined who?

[Sassypants82]

In this scenario: Parent A is getting child up & dressed for the day. Parent B notices that the child's underwear has not been changed & asks the child to come in & undress again in order to change them. Child tantrums. Parent A says that they have allowed the child not to change, just as a once off. Parent B, who would do most of the dressing, undressing, teeth brushing & 'life skills' stuff explains that it's doing so is not consistent with their routine & the good habits that they're trying to form and that they feel undermined that Parent B would allow such a thing as a once off. Parent A then says, actually, it's Parent B who has totally undermined Parent A's decision to let the underwear changing slide.

Genuinely not sure who has been undermined in this situation, can anyone help?

Well clearly Parent B was being lazy and couldn't be arsed with the fallout, Parent A ustandably wished to maintain good hygiene standards.

As far as 'undermining' goes, you both undermined one another I guess

Parent A is being lazy and undermining the work done by parent B because they won't have to deal with the consequences, parent B will.

Parent B has undermined parent A's decision to not change the underwear and quite rightly so. They should not be supporting lazy, neglectful parenting.

He undermined you, OP. Him not chaging the child's underwear was either an oversight or being lazy and you were right to do what you did.

Does the child have any issues as i don't think we can comment If we don't know this.

Whilst children need consistency and boundaries it is also important with children of all ages to pick your battles and now what's worth winning and when to compromise and also when to give the child a way to back down when they truly can't see and are spiralling x

Parent B has undermined parent A's decision to not change the underwear and quite rightly so. They should not be supporting lazy, neglectful parenting.

I agree. Lazy parenting should be undermined.

I assume you're Parent B OP?

Yes, I'm parent B & my child has no issues.
I have just been thinking about the conversation & wanted outside perspective.

He can occasionally be a bit lazy. Ironic as he is very eager that the children have good hygiene etc.

Thanks for the responses.