Dancedancedancedancetotheradio ·
28/07/2017 11:25
I know I'm going to get raked across the coals here but here goes:
DH is a kind, hardworking man but for years we've been unhappily married. Communication is scant. Mostly because I've been preoccupied with being a mum to our LO, helping and then losing my DD to dementia and now needing to care for my DM who is chronically ill. I've been spread so thinly, I can no longer cope. DH also has condition that appears to be worsening. When I try to help him he'll yell at me. The wall gets bigger. Our marriage feels v lonely right now....and so I made a huge mistake.
I've always gone to the local market and one of the (married) traders flirted with me something chronic. I thought it was the usual marketman flirting banter and was flattered by it but naively thought it was all jokey. When I had an inkling it was not I stopped going to the market. The banter had also turned into friendship where we'd talk about our jobs and confided about losing one of our parents. I hadn't gone for many months and then I found myself there a few days ago. He asked for my number. I stupidly gave it to him.
A few days later we spent 5 hours messaging. Again just confiding about life. So much connection. He then made it clear he wanted a full blown affair. I said I couldn't. I didn't want my DH or his DW getting hurt. I think he's upset as he's not been in touch since.
This has been so exhausting. I'm very upset. To be honest I think it's all my fault. I've made so many mistakes. I've tried to rebuild marriage but DH is in denial and refuses to go counselling. Such a bloody mess. I liked the OM. But I know even in flirting, giving him my number, confiding in him, I've done such wrong. I don't know what to do anymore. My head is a state and I just feel incredibly sad. I tried to look after everyone but I'm failing and now I've made a massive mistake. What the hell have I done? I wish OM had never spoken to me ever. 