Quick poll: How many of you had relationship problems between Mummy and Daddy after the birth of your first child together?

[NatalieJane]

Me

No.

I think calling yourselves Mummy and Daddy may be part of your problem ...

I found having a child difficult, but I wouldn't say it caused relationship problems per se.

Sorry I only said mummy and daddy so I wasn't going through all of the DW's, DH's, DP's etc.

techincally speaking i did split with dad of my dd1 after her birth but i cant say it was anything to do with dd1 more to do with him being a complete arse!

Dp and I had dd2 18mths ago and though there have been some fraught moments we have done very well imo.

whats wrong with mummy and daddy?

blimey give her a break.

I had probs, we had probs, caused by all sorts.

Its testing that is for sure.

Try and keep a hold of you as people, as a couple.

Yes - it definitely wasn't easy, made more difficult by the fact that DH really dislikes babies - only really started to connect once they were about 1yr old. We got through it, but it was tough at times.

we had problems too. largely over the best for our dd. and other people s intervention.

yes... me the mummy had problems with the daddy

Yes

We had lots of problems partly caused by post-natal depression so we ended up at Relate. Best thing we ever did as learnt to communicate and put each other first. Not sure if this is true but counsellor told us that a really high percentage of divorce happens in the first year after the birth of a baby. (Haven't checked that stat though.) Makes sense to me as it is a huge change in your lives together.

Yes, Sooo many complex issues but main argument cause was 'daddy' doing too much around the house - I see you all thinking but it completely undermined newly aquired role of 'mummy' (or what I saw as a mummy) - anyway it resolved itself when I became mummy of two and no longer had time for any of those other essentials like eating, sleeping....

Well, I did a lot of crying, and a lot of unreasonable strops, and he weathered it all, kept taking us out; bigging me up - and now I adore him more than ever.

Round about way of saying: no, but not for want of opportunity.

no...but the baby lottery gave us a good sleeper which im sure makes things 100 times easier.

Also DH works away in the week so not even there half the week

LOL kifa...i think that goes in this house too...DH a star, me stroppy cow!

Lots of snapping and a couple of big arguments at 03:00 am. Definitely hard work for a while whilst you get used to having children...

No problems at all post dd - but then I wnet back to work when she was 16 weeks and nothing much changed. Huge problems post ds - because I became SAHM, we moved, I was depressed, had no libido and we were both struggling with the changes in our life. But ds is nealy3 now, and last few months have been good, very good in fact. We just hung in there and accepted that we might both feel crap for a while but that eventualy our lives would get back to a state where we had time and inclanation to be in love again.

Yeh! We did.
Not sure why Dh felt that afer dd1 was born it meant that he was entitled to regular nights out on the town and not returning home til god knows when even though he had not done so for a while before birth of dd1. think he felt he needed to prove he was still young and able to do what he liked! Also maybe the fact that after a 3rd degree tear things were not great in the sexual dept so we were not getting very close (not that he went out to do anything, just out drinking with mates.)
men can be funny creatures. I just dont think he really realised the change of lifestyle /dependency of a baby and relationship with baby and mother and he felt neglected!

We were blissed out after 1st baby but the 2nd was tough.

first was fine as i did everything, it's now that we have 2 and he has to pull his weight that we have problems

yes, but i think it's to do with my pnd and lack of sleep. we're all fine now

much worse after our 2nd

We had problems with our first but our second has just slotted right in, DS1 has been excellent with DS2, DH and I are as happy as ever.

I do put it down to lack of sleep, our first was a terrible sleeper, would never just drop off to sleep on his own, he was BF half an hour on half an hour off for the first two weeks, I was just drained and exhausted and had a lot to deal with after the labour, which I felt I had failed miserably at, and then finding myself fat (going from a size 8 to an 18 wasn't nice!) and full of stretch marks and saggy bellies, YUK! I was certainly more prepared for the impact of the pregnancy and birth on my body second time round.

And I guess age as well I was 18 when I had my first and although he was planned and we were married and happy, I did find it hard, second time I was/am 23 and more able to deal with the emotional side.