Boys time

[RLV13]

New to this site

Looking for some different opinions

New to dating and dating a lovely guy after a pretty horrendous ex it's taken me long time to even want to go past a first date with someone as I always felt too vulnerable

New guy is pretty much perfect and dating and learning to date I find difficult as I sometimes suffer with anxiety

We see each other once or twice a week (childcare depending) and he always makes time to see me

We message through the day (he also calls) inbetween work

This though has me stumped and I have nothing to compare it to
Is it normal for a guy to have guy time and or him to go completely quiet he meets up with them couple of times a week
They go for food grab a pizza meet up etc but he will always be silent and I won't hear a word from him
Depending on what time he gets home he may message sometimes not until the next morning

The exclusivity of relationship I'm not concerned about nor is it a trust thing .. He has almost certainly said we are only dating each other and hasn't given me any reason to suspect anything different

Thanks ladies x

Oh the dreaded ex 🙈🙈

I hate that!!!

We women are a special breed

I hate exes or the ex talk it always makes me mega uncomfortable I haven't seen a pic of his ex to know if I'm being compared to a a super model or a regular normal girl
Thank god --- my OCD would be in overdrive 😂🙈 better the devil you know for me in that scenario xx

Flip that switch. He likes you. Our anxieties are in our brains, we control those thoughts (not as well) and anxiety makes us think the worst, even when it's not the worst.

When you're on a bad day, pop on here, have MN talk you down or PM me and we'll have a natter. Don't allow it to get the best of you. We need to win, not anxiety.

Xxx

See the thing is, it's just that ex. Had she been like his other ex's I wouldn't feel an insecurity, but I think because she wouldn't listen when he told her he'd moved on, I think I was worried he'd go back.

He's always reassured me he wouldn't. She's blocked now but even that didn't stop her as she turned up at his and tried to get back in with a story that she'd moved on.

But blocked now but I still feel anxious about it. I do get it's me and it's my anxiety that causes those thoughts and fears.

That's definitely what it is
Anxiety is a demon
There is always that one girl as a woman we hate most definitely x

Wow! You are so right!

Thinking back there's always been an anxiety with ex's (is she prettier, etc) but you control it, they're not around and maybe they're even in another relationship so you put it in the box of "don't need to think of that"

I think with regards to this, (I had an epiphany) my anxiety is because I fear the lengths she would go to try get my partner back. And I think I feared that.

Turning up uninvited is pretty crazy to me, especially after being blocked so I think my anxiety has told me, "this woman will cross boundaries"

But she is blocked and hasn't tried anything since so I need to stop letting anxiety win. 🙄🙄🙄

Normal 🙌 Don't worry! Girls can always seem to multitask better when out with friends but most men (ime) once they get doing whatever men do forget to communicate 🤔 I'm very lucky in that my dp is shit at replying to other people when his phone goes (even his mum!) but will remember to buzz me back..but that all goes out the window when he's with his mates 😂I think I used to get so irritated by his bad replying in earlier years of relationship that I may have scared him into communication mwahaa poor guy!

He sounds lovely and completely normal. With regards to the talk/what are we thing, just do it when you want. I don't get this it's too soon etc, if it makes you feel more comfortable someone who cares about you would be happy about that.
I told my bf after the first date, I'd only date him exclusively. He just laughed and said well that's good to know.
The boyfriend/girlfriend thing just happened organically really, he was talking to a work mate on his phone and said he was with his girlfriend. So after I said 'Oh am I your girlfriend then?'' And we talked about it. Well he said 'yeah, I hope so' and that was it really.

He has definitely dropped hints

When I'm with him he puts his phone down and doesn't use it so maybe it is just the way he is whatever he's doing he's focused on that and not his phone xx

That's what my bf's like RLV13 and he always has been. He uses his phone if he needs it and that's it really. I often get his mates texting me as they know they'll get a response quicker if he's with me than trying his phone.

Can't stand it when people are glued to their phones, constant partner messaging instead of concentrating on the people they are with. It's so rude. He sounds like a nice person instead of this.

Just an update ladies
Have contacted a counsellor today to try and work through my issues after two pretty bad anxiety attacks over the weekend
I know I'm just going to end up scaring him away if I carry on
I haven't let on to him about any of it and confided in the girls but I just feel like a burden and it's getting worse
I doubt everything and I know it's only so long before I let it out and ruin it all x

PM me sweets.

Xxx

I'm not sure how to 😂 xx

On my post, press the dots and it'll say stuff like "report, pm" xx

There isn't an option to pm Hun can you pm me x

Yeah, check that little person icon and you'll see a red dot and that's your pm xx

Sent it cx