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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dp drunk. I don't know if I can do this anymore

7 replies

WhiskyIrnBru · 27/07/2017 01:18

Just need a hand hold really. DP has an alcohol problem. He had one in the past but fails to see the issue now. Drinking most nights. Tonight he's come in absolutely paralytic. Asked him to walk the dog (take her down the back) he's legless and managed down the stairs after much staggering. Then fell asleep against a wall and locked the dog out. I've just managed to get her. I'm so fed up with this. He doesn't see the problem. My opinion is slightly skewed as I hate being round drunk people. He's current still at the bottom of the close. I couldn't get him up so I've left him. I feel worried. I've had to lock the door too. I don't really know what to do or why I'm writing this. Just feel stressed and worried.

OP posts:
weaselwomble · 27/07/2017 01:36

I don't have much to offer other than sympathy and Flowers. My DP doesn't drink every day but when he does go out he doesn't know when to stop and gets in a similar state. I hate it.

weaselwomble · 27/07/2017 01:46

Whisky do let us know you're OK please, even if it's in the morning. I know what you're going through tonight and I'm worried something will happen if you have gone back out to try and move him.

HellAintABadPlaceToBe · 27/07/2017 01:51

I left my partner for this behaviour. He used to get horrendously drunk as he didn't know when to stop. It all got too much as he got really nasty with no provocation and I caught him texting another girl one night... good luck 😔

WhiskyIrnBru · 27/07/2017 09:32

He came in at 3am. After being out there 2 hours. He's admitted he has a problem. (giant understatement) I've not slept. Thanks for the hand hold. I've a lot to think on today

OP posts:
Maria1982 · 27/07/2017 09:42

Have another hand hold from me.

Do you have anyone in RL you could speak with as well? Have you ever looked up Al Anon? (Support group for those with alcoholics in their family/ in their life ).

HellonHeels · 27/07/2017 10:05

This is a major reason why I left my exDH.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 27/07/2017 10:05

The 3cs re alcoholism:-
You did not cause this
You cannot control this
You cannot cure this

You are around a drunk person, he is still in your life currently and ultimately you need to leave him. This is no life for you or any children to witness. He will simply drag you down with him.

He can well say he has a drunk problem but actually doing something about it is another thing altogether. He will not likely seek any proper help for his drinking problem. You are simply propping him up currently.

Did you grow up seeing similar yourself?. You being around him at all further enables him. I am wondering if love for him is actually based on some unhealthy codependency; codependency is often seen in relationships where alcohol features all too much.

Al-anon are worth contacting as they are very helpful to people affecting by another person's drinking.

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