Cheating, horrible ex and his new girlfriend :(

[carriecaux]

Sorry. I know this thread has been done before- just need to rant it out :( me and ex split up barely 3 months ago after 3 years together, and he already has a new girlfriend, parading it over Facebook and Instagram. I know I shouldn't look. I won't anymore. It hurts even more because he would never put pictures of me on his social media, only started to do it after 2 and a bit years and I used to ask why, paranoid it was because he didn't want people to know he was in a relationship (which turned out to be the truth- he hid his relationship status, hid photos from his page that i'd uploaded, etc). so it stings even more.

He cheated on me multiple times, he was a liar like no one I've ever met before, he was emotionally abusive, and on a few occasions physically. He was horrendous. But he has this 'people' face where he comes off like the nicest, friendliest guy. He acted like that half the time with me too. Amongst our friends he is very popular (less so now with those who know what happened in our relationship - though others who weren't close to me have stuck by him, fair enough!). I've come to terms with things mostly and no longer want him back, I haven't for a while. I am just finding the rest of it so much more difficult than I anticipated. I thought once I didn't want him back anymore, it'd be over, I'd be able to move on - but there's still so much that hurts me regardless (I realise I was naive in thinking that now).

It just makes me so angry. He never really cared about me. I just feel sick and angry and sad that I lost so much of my life to him and I'm still struggling to put the pieces back together, unable to even contemplate letting someone else in/dating again and he gets to move on. I've had lovely guys ask me on dates and for whatever reason I can't go. Mentally I just can't :( everyone keeps saying to me, she's a rebound, he's flaunting it to make you feel shit, and that may be true, but they don't know him/they don't understand how he is - he probably doesn't give enough of a shit about me to be doing it to hurt me. I doubt I even cross his mind.

Sorry for such a brain dump. Just needed to get it off my chest and fairly sure my friends are sick of hearing about this. I feel like such a mess right now and so beat down by this horrible guy. :(

You allowed him to cheat multiple times. .
You were never in a committed relationship with him. Quick sharp you need to see him for what he was not what you thought you had together.

He is a twat of the highest degree and surely she is welcome to him as you have higher standards?

It will get better in time - just focus on yourself and making yourself happy with other things :)

I can't really offer any words of wisdom as everything you've said sounds exactly how I'll feel when my ex announces he's moved on.

Better to take your time to heal properly than grab on to the first man that looks your way.

he hasn't changed... he's still exactly the same vile person he was when he was with you... your simply on the outside looking in now...

don't envy her... relish the fact your free... and she has all this yet to endure ..

be kind to yourself

He sounds like a cock. I'm struggling to see what you're actually missing.

You know you're in a better position now

You don't have children together?
He's irrelevant. Block him in social media and forget about him.

It's still only 3 months so it's ok to still be hurt. But now block on social media, delete as a friend and don't look. Based on what you said this girl is the unlucky one as she is yet to discover his true side. Next time someone cheats on you do not take him back. You do not put up with that crap, you deserve better. Far healthier to take good period of time off From relationships rather than jump straight in again as he has.

OP - you should be celebrating!!!!!

He's out of your life!

That poor, poor new woman!

Change the way you view it & but yourself flowers to celebrate!!

Sorry you are going through this op. You have a conscience and sound like a decent person, which is why you find it incomprehensible that he could hurt you in this way and has such different values to you.

Chalk it up to experience and be happy that you got away. He cheated on you (not your fault) he lied and was emotionally and physically ebusive. Be thankful that you did not have DC with this man. As time goes on, everyone will see behind his "Mr Popular" facade; you wait and see.

You've had lovely guys ask you out since, so you are obviously attractive and have loads to offer. Don't let this horrible man have power over you any more. Don't let him hold you back!! You deserve so much more, be thankful and you are free! But if you are finding it too hard to trust again, could you seek some counselling?

It's been 3 months, of course you're going to be still hurt and pining. Give yourself some credit.

He's a nob, and I think you need to get some strength. Anyone that cheats multiple times isn't someone you want to be with, and I hate to say it, but he didn't care for you as much as he should!

You can go forward, you just need to cut that cord. (All social media) it'll do you no favours and will only make you feel shit.

Best of luck. Get strong, keep telling yourself he's a prick and be glad you're out of it.