What's it like being in a non-abusive relationship?

[Teepish]

Just that really
Every "romantic" relationship I've had has been unhealthy, including my marriage which ended last year.
I've contemplated the past a lot and for some reason I accepted less than I should have. Each one started where I appeared to be on a pedestal, could do no wrong, was wonderful, then ended with abuse, lies, cheating and just being degraded.
What's it like being with someone who you don't feel suspicious of 24/7, and who doesnt make you feel insecure? Someone who doesn't talk down to you in front of people? And do all men pester you for sex and make you feel badly for not wanting it sometimes I only did it with my H because I was afraid he would cheat on me if I didnt. He cheated anyway...

I feel ready to meet someone else now but I just cant imagine what a nice man is like

When I first started dating my now dh, I was always miffed that a close friend of mine bf bought her flowers every week - big hand tied bouquets from a posh florist

Then dh pointed out that her boyfriend was continually going awol on nights out and the flowers were bought out of guilt, I never minded after that, even though he has only ever bought me flowers about 5 times in 15 years lol,

I do agree with many of the previous posters, that a good relationship is built on friendship and mutual respect. A good relationship could be described as boring to many outsiders as you do just plod along. Saying that though, you do still have to work at the relationship, disagreements need to be resolved somehow, you need time together as a couple but also time to do your own things so that you keep your identity.

You might want to think about why you're attracted to these types of guys.

For example, its "exciting". The lows come with highs which make them addictive. Compared to a man who keeps you guessing, a decent man can seem dull, because sudden niceness after a week of dickishness somehow feels more attractive than consistent niceness. You get into a pattern of changing your behalf to earn their niceness, something that starts in childhood. When someone is just consistently nice to you, it can feel like there must be something wrong with them!

*behaviour, not behalf

Not RTFT yet. Early days for me but it's beautiful.

Couldn't have met a more down to earth, least jealous, non-possessive, utterly cool man. He puts up with me and lifestyle kink so that's a winner winner chicken dinner.

If only he wouldn't stop sneaking a peak at the latest GoT; it would be perfect.

Thanks all I am really hoping to meet just a nice, normal guy who likes and appreciates me. I'm nice! I always have been, but relationships always felt like...combat.
Watermelon absolutely agree re the big bunches of flowers. I only ever associate those gestures with guilt now too, unfortunately.
I'd have boring, I'd love it. Boring, safe, secure. I'd gladly have this

OP - have a google of 'Power and Control Wheel'. They do a healthy and unhealthy relationship version and will answer your question.
They very aptly describe what good and bad relationships look like.

Power and Control Wheels here.

Thank you for that