I feel like I don't do enough for DP

[FuckDietCoke]

So we've been together a while now, we live together and we're very happy. We still make plenty of time for each other, we have a good sex life and we enjoy each other's company.

I'm very lucky to have him, he treats me like an absolute princess (cliche, I know, sorry) and would move heaven on earth for me. It's probably important I tell you that he earns significantly more than me, around 7 times more and I'm not on a bad wage. I just have more outgoings.

I recently quit my job and have been eating into my savings, which are now quite low. He paid all of my insurance for the year which was steep, my car then broke down and he paid the repairs on it. He's paid £7k for a once in a life time trip and spending money. I did insist on paying my share back to him and having my own spending money. However, he insisted he pays. *
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I feel like I don't do anything when he does so much for me. I feel like a drain on his life! I suffer with anxiety and have been diagnosed and he supports my bad days brilliantly. All I do is cook for him most nights and wash his clothes and keep the house tidy.

What else can I do? I can't spend the amounts he does, especially not whilst I'm looking for work. I want to make him as happy as he makes me.

It's not about the money. There are so many ways that you can show him how much you appreciate him
Give him a hug when he least expects it, make him his favourite meal. Leave him a little love letters in unexpected places i.e. in his lunch box, in his sock drawer.
There are lots of little things that you can do to let him know how much you love him.
Just the fact that you are taking the time to do something nice for him, tells him everything that he needs to know xxx

Money is easy, it's time that is a bigger gift, especially as he's such a high earner - not saying that you shouldn't be grateful but if he's anything like my DP, the great sex, clean clothes and dinner on the table will be making him very happy indeed.

Add in a bit of a back tickle or a head massage every once in a while and your DP will be like a pig in shit. bumps suggestions are also lovely and will mean so much more than clicking 'transfer money' on your bank account to pay it back.

Have a read about the 5 languages of love - we all show and receive love in different ways and although he may be happy to show his love for you with financial gifts, it may be that he likes to receive warm words, physical touch etc. He's also receiving 'acts of service' from you in the meals and laundry, so he's doing pretty well!

Accept his help gracefully, as long as it is given without any expectation on either part. If it's given freely it is yours. And don't let him off any other kind gestures - he's still capable of cooking for you or offering you support that is not financial too.

In a partnership you both contribute what you are able in your own different ways.

You know you say you suffer anxiety - well there's why you're posting this. Symptom of your mh issue.

You're doing the housework, you cook for him, you have a good relationship together . Give yourself a break.

I'm the opposite - my DW is the most kind, thoughtful person you could meet. We have no kids and atm she is retraining at uni. Because she is only there 3 days a week she does pretty much all the cooking, cleaning and washing. I can't help because it's always done and sometimes I really worry that all I contribute is money.

KindleBueno same for you, a loving text costs nothing, I usually find that it is the tiny little things that don't cost a penny but mean the most.
My husband comes & cuddles me from behind while I am cooking dinner, kisses my neck & then goes back to work (he works from home)
At the beginning of our relationship he would pick me one flower & say, I saw this & thought of you.
Random acts of kindness go a very long way.
The fact that you want to show your DW how much you love her is very telling

Thanks for your replies everyone. Think I'm just on a downer today, my car broke down and he paid for it to be fixed immediately.

I know it's not about money, I do get him little treats he likes and cook his favourite dinners. I leave him notes on his windscreen occasionally to make him smile. I've always paid my way even if it leaves me absolutely broke! He pays for so much it makes me feel a little inadequate - he insists though.

FeedMe I do tickle/scratch his head and he makes like an owl sound, so at least that's working

Kindle a cuddle and an appreciative text or note would be enough.

category you're right, it is my anxiety but to me these issues are very real and are a problem. DP also says this but reassures me I have nothing to worry about, bless him

I'm not trying to dismiss your feelings, sorry if it came off that way, but you do need to try to believe him, if not me . Trust what he says at face value. He does it because he loves you and wants to. And what would a fabulous trip be without the person he loves beside him?

I think it's fair to say (and I know you acknowledge it on some level) that the anxiety is speaking for you about this. Your contribution to the relationship is important and not less than his. Housework is devalued in society, but it's important: paid work is not the only thing of value. Him supporting you emotionally and financially at this time is normal in a good relationship - there will be times in your lives when the position will be reversed.

Accept his support (don't take it for granted obviously) , but try not to make it a source of guilt or anxiety. Wouldn't you do the same for him?

I think cooking every day is a very caring thing to do :-)