I gave up a career and a good life miles away when I feel pregnant with a man I thought I was in love with.
He asked me to marry him, told me he would always ta,e care upon us, encouraged me to take redundancy and plough it into our life together.
I'm now pregnant with our third child and si trapped and unhappy.
I have no job, no money and apart from my mum nowhere to go.
He has decided I'm good enough to have children with but not in his exact words "good enough to marry"
My credit rating has been ruined by a case of mistaken identity delisted notes of satisfaction. He's had all my money as I believed him all these years.
Last year when out second child was six months old I left before we moved house. I discovered a series of message to his drinking friends and parents that I had PND and was mentally ill. None of which is true.
He begged Me for a final chance, promised me he'd get therapy and set up a Trust Deed to acknowledge my contribution,
A year on and nothing. He is worse than ever and thanks to being pressured for sex one night I am six months pregnant.
He was out mountain biking with a friend tonight and our son managed to open two safety gates and fall halfway down the stairs. When he Came back home he was sulking and said he was obviously fine. Then two hours later he accused me of actually throwing himself down the stairs to get him home early because I am unwell and jealous of him having a life.
There are so many things I could write here but I can't face committing them all to paper, suffice to say they revolve around emotional abuse such as disdain, lies, provocation, undermining and general nastiness. He is a control freak, he cuts of my housekeeping to pay for holidays he wants. He says there is no money for luxuries but buys himself cds and booze and clothes all the time. His family are blind to his faults and I frequently come across nasty little message so where I am described as grumpy and arrogant. He is disningeous and provocative in front of my friends and family. In short he is a total bastard.
It has got so bad now that I am actually prepared to leave with nothing apart from my children in my car. The only asset I have left. He has said he holds all the cards and that he now wants to contact my midwife to tell, her I am unfit. This is because I slapped his face tonight when he accused me of injuring our son.
I just need to get something down as it is let and I don't want him to hear me on the phone to friends or my mother or sister.
I have thought about women's aid but I don't know.
I have left four times and always have to come back for immunisations, antenatal appointments, school terms etc. I feel as though all the pressure is on me. I am brimming out resentment at the uphheaval and turmoil in mine and especially my children's lives and on top of it have to get ready to give birth in three months.
He hasn't been interviewed under caution for assaulting me one night, but acts as though I think never happened and told the police commiserated with him and laughed about my desperate behaviour.
I feel as though he is trying to drive me to suicide or madness.
Just some words of advice or reassurance or comfort would be appreciated.
I feel incredibly stupid, vulnerable and lost right now.