Hi Mums,
I'm sorry to come on here as a big sad-sack but I have to get this out of my system. I feel like if I keep trying to keep it all in, I'll get sick. Hope its ok for me to vent here.
Here goes, I'm married a few years to DH and we have a toddler DT. I wouldn't describe our relationship as good or bad in general (DH I mean. DT is fab) but today is one of those special sucky days.
Yesterday DT came down with a slight infection. Dr prescribed antibiotics to be on the safe side and suggested DT stay home from creche.
Obviously, the only place I want to be at any given time is with DT, but I'm a working mum and proud of it. So, as I just started a new job, DH and I discussed and agreed that I would go to work this morning and he would work this afternoon. I went in early, both DT and DH were asleep still.
I sent him this msg:
'Morning, on my to work. Babs was still asleep when I left. Please would you give antibiotics and porridge with honey? Let the latter cool right down and also you might have to spoon feed her. See you as early as I can get back xx'
This was his reply 4hours later:
'There's no early as u can get back....u said you'd b back by lunch...it makes no economic sense for u to work n me to stay at home....we'd b broke!!!'
Me: 'I said lunch and I meant lunch! Don't be such an ass!'
DH: Well if u want to be like ur sister or ur mum go for it!!!
Me: What are you even talking about?
He didn't reply. As soon as I got out of work I rang and asked him what was going on. He said:
He feels he doesn't get enough respect from me.
When I pressed him for specifics he clarified that he wants us more to have more 'alone time'. More drilling for specifics unearthed he's on about sex!
How is it he thinks of respect and sex as being the same! I am beyond annoyed and disgusted.
Honestly, I'm (a) not actually that attracted to him anymore and he's as selfish that way as every other way, (b) on antidepressants, under pressure, generally unwell, in daily pain from some yet to be diagnosed leg problem.
My average day: (Mon-F)I get NO down time. Up at the crack of dawn to get DT to creche and straight to work. Straight home from work to sort house and look after DT. GET DT to sleep etc. Then start all over again.
(S-S) up at the crack of dawn with DT (haven't had a lie in since DT arrived) look after DT (which is my happy place), sort the house and then we wait for DH to get up and to see what his mood.is.
His average day: (Mon-Fri) wake up some time around noon, do what men do, play on his phone, get up have some food, look at emails. Rare days he gets dressed and goes out to work appointments. Other than that he's in the house 'working'. Picks up DT in the e being. Looks after DT for 45mins-70mins until I come home. Waist for her and I to go to sleep. Sits on front of TV with beer.
(S-S) Gets up whenever he feels like it. Acts stroppy all day depending on how much he drank the night before. Repeats
I feel sick. I know I should leave with T but I also know that wouldn't mean he's be out of our lives. At least by staying I can watch him and protect DT. My growing worry is that no one is protecting me. My head hurts and my heart is heavy.
Thanks for llistening.