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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Taking things forward?

19 replies

Ferfukzsake · 25/07/2017 11:38

Ok. I've been single (and celibate!) now for around 7 years with no interest whatsoever in having a relationship with anyone. I'm late 40's.
I've just met someone in a professional capacity (healthcare) who definitely likes me and I developed a crush on him completely out of the blue. I feel like a schoolgirl at times, but I'm also pleasantly surprised as obviously there's a bit of life in me yet.

The professional care bit has come to an end now and at risk of outing myself, the signs of interest (I think) I picked up today, and over the past few weeks, included:
Him telling me how funny I am (I use humour to deflect nervousness)
Him telling me I look great (in response to me saying I'm on a health kick)
Him asking what kind of things I do after work (could be fishing or just in relation to my health)
Him telling me he'll miss me brightening up his morning...

He said to email him if I have any problems, but I just have the generic practice email address.

My thinking is that he can't ask me out or contact me because he's a professional and operates under a code of conduct re: clients. I, on the other hand, could contact him with a genuine health related question and leave my number/email address.

Any suggestions on how to proceed with my plan? I would like to keep in contact with him, even if not romantically as he's really interesting and funny and he laughs at my jokes, and I generally miss male (hetro) company. He's younger by 10 yrs and mentioned that age is just a number, blah, blah.

He's been very easy to find via google, so I could tweet him?

Any thoughts, suggestions?? Smile

OP posts:
TheNaze73 · 25/07/2017 11:50

I'd go for it. You don't ever want any "what if" regrets.

He's flirted gently whilst remaining professional. Ball's now in your court. Go for it!

Ferfukzsake · 25/07/2017 12:09

Thanks Naze - You're right, the ball is in my court.

I've never made the first move before without copious amounts of booze so just a tad nervous. But what the hey?

OP posts:
TheNaze73 · 25/07/2017 12:22

You've nothing to lose. Suggest something low key like a coffee maybe?

Guccibelt · 25/07/2017 12:24

Tweet or Facebook friend request?

Ferfukzsake · 25/07/2017 12:50

Just tweeted an innocuous 'thank you' - watch this space!

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 25/07/2017 13:10

You've nothing to lose so definitely go for it.
Not sure 'Thank you' will invoke much of a response but let's hope it does.

TheNaze73 · 25/07/2017 13:16

Good luck OP

Ferfukzsake · 25/07/2017 13:36

Oh Hells, maybe you're right? Too late for the initial tweet now anyway. Hopefully he'll see it as an 'in'.

I'm so long out of this palaver and succumbing to midlife insecurities about my age and general attractiveness. Years ago I would have just flirted right back and not worried about it.

Just started HRT too! not sure if it's helping or hindering.

Thanks for your messages everyone - I'm a MN virgin and got hooked in by the "Disgraced myself on a work night out " post - which had me almost peeing. Been there, done that...

OP posts:
Ferfukzsake · 25/07/2017 13:53

Also - I don't really do social media. If I follow him on twitter will it look a bit stalky?

Back to my quill and ink now...

OP posts:
Ferfukzsake · 25/07/2017 15:41

Update! The 'in' worked and we are now texting. In the words of Melanie Sykes (or thereabouts) I'm as giddy as a kipper!

OP posts:
StillSmallVoice · 25/07/2017 16:12

Good luck. Hope it all goes well.

hellsbellsmelons · 25/07/2017 16:19

Yeah!
Keep light and flirty and don't message for too long before arranging a meet-up.
Something I've learnt lately now I'm on Tinder Grin

Ferfukzsake · 25/07/2017 16:26

Erm! think he's just asked for a shag!

OP posts:
Ferfukzsake · 25/07/2017 16:26

deffo out of the question this early on

OP posts:
Forwardsforwards · 25/07/2017 16:34

oh flip OP!

You are the prize, you are the prize. Rinse and repeat :)

this is lovely to read....

Ferfukzsake · 25/07/2017 18:07

thanks Forward. I am the prize! bloody won't know his luck if it gets that far...

which I'm hoping he might further down the line... Wink

OP posts:
Ferfukzsake · 25/07/2017 18:27

frigg! he's got a SO.

He thought he'd told me... Anyway, that's that. I had a few nice weeks of flirting and found out there's life in me yet... Not all bad.

OP posts:
Forwardsforwards · 25/07/2017 20:24

good woman - dust yourself off and try again.

feel sorry for his SO though......

Ferfukzsake · 25/07/2017 21:24

yeah, me too Forwards. So glad it all came out before it went any further.

I wasn't actually looking for anything, so will dust myself off and concentrate on singledom again Smile

OP posts:
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