Kicked him out

[OuttamyHair]

After 23 years.

He's been working abroad for the last three, found some bondage photos and videos on a camera card and that is it. Told DCs (18 and 17) a watered-down version (just said it was sex, not bondage) today and they are appalled. It's been a horrific few days since I found out, but have been AMAZED by the support of friends and colleagues. I'll be applying for a divorce imminently and the house will be sold.

The good bit? I start a new job in Sept and accommodation comes with it. Any proceeds from the house sale will go in the bank until I decide I want to buy something.

I don't want to drip feed, but neither do I want to write a whole long thread just at the moment. I just wanted to say how empowered and liberated I feel. Should have done it years ago but was always thinking of the children and never had a concrete reason.

Should say, the slapper in question was one of his colleagues.

Good for you op!!

You sound like you are ready for your next chapter

The slapper* has not made vows to you, so you can stop with misogynistic shit like that.

Glad you've dropped the twat though.

The slapper has not made vows to you, so you can stop with misogynistic shit like that.*

Doesn't matter. If you shag a married man, being called a slapper is nothing.

You also don't need to take vows to have morals and values. Nothing misogynistic about the BW calling the OW a slapper.... Not one tiny bit.

OP, well done on not faffing about.

I'd say yes calling her a slapped is.

A cow, bitch etc no but a slapped insinuates she's just sex, just like the term slut.

But sure it's not misogynistic at all.

slapper

BRITISHinformalderogatory
a promiscuous or vulgar woman.

Mentions promiscuousness, not that she was vile for shagging a married man.

Oh come on, the OP has a right to call this woman that. I'm sure as a colleague she knew he was a married man.

I applaud you OP! Well done on how you are handling this

Well done op.
Perhaps convenient CUNT would sit better than slapper for the pp who doesn't like that term?

she is a slapper and a cunt!

Yeah!
Well done OP.
The first steps towards a new life.
How exciting!

I think it's good you told the DC, so he can't blame you.

Make sure you go for pensions, savings etc as well.

Well done for kicking him out.

Not so impressed you are using the term to describe the other woman either if I'm honest. You didn't mention him being a sleaze bag but she's a slapper

He probably spun her a load of shit about your marriage, you are separating etc

He made himself available for what happened, it's not her responsibility to help him keep his dick in his pants.

He's a cunt and she's a slapper!!
Good for you OP, and good luck with the new job for the new chapter in your life

Exactly jeaux
It's always the woman's fault even if he told her they were practically split up or something.
I hope nobody on here identifies as a feminist.
Interesting the change of word was another one to degrade a woman.
I guess insulting a woman comes so easy.

But yes he's a bastard.
Thank goodness he's out of your life.

Yep notanother. With you on that. Always the OW that gets the lovely nicknames

Cunt and Slapper is that a pub?
Good for you, you are amazing.
Cunt and Slapper is pretty good title if you ask me.

Ladies - This op has just shared her problem and here are some of you deciding among yourselves the terminology of how she chooses the names in her story. Really ?

Thanks for the support - in spite of a few who dislike my terminology. I didn't think too hard when making my original post - why would I? The point is that he is an utter git which I think goes without saying. She knew about us and our family (she is his FB friend) but, in any case, I don't really blame her especially. He's the one at fault, but I don't see what on earth I can't come on her and vent about the pair of them.

I've started the horrific task of letting family and friends know today, and have made a few home visits to do so. Really fucking awful, but the biggest shock is that nobody seems surprised. What have I been missing all these years? Lots of support all round though, which is the main thing. Thank you so much for indulging my outpouring of rage.

That is the most gutting in these situations OP. When people aren't surprised and you wonder why they didn't say anything!

But I guess people just don't want to get in the way of relationships.

Good for you for not shrinking away or covering for what he has done. I may not agree with the terminology but when they both decided to get in bed with each other they opened themselves up to being judged by those around them.

I hate the term bastard personally, it's a throwback to the times when a child was blamed for the sins of the parents.

Slapper's a great word for someone who's fucking your husband however.