My partner left me & married his ex

[hally001]

Hello,

I'm just looking for a little bit of advice from anyone who has gone through or is going through a similar situation.

A few years ago my partner of 10 years broke up with me, and less than a year later married his ex girlfriend. I always suspected there was something going on between them, or at least that she wanted something to happen, but I had little to base my speculations on.

We also have a daughter together, and have had to bring her up as a single mother taking on all financial responsibility, which has been exhausting at points.

5 Years on I am still angry, and worry that this experience has left me distrustful of people, especially with a young daughter to think of.

I guess I am just wanting to share this, as a way to reach out and find out how other single Mum's or Dad's have coped with issues of trust.

Thanks,
H

Just to say I feel for you. I am quite new into the single parent journey, and still suffer issues of trust and exhaustion (mental and physical). No advice but certainly admiration for you for having done it for 5 years - you deserve a pat on the back, no matter how crap the journey you've done it so far, and it's been hard.

Minimal contact with ex helps, no social media, no spending time together for the sake of the kids, quick handover and one line emails only regarding the children...

And though ex turned out to be a total shit, beyond my wildest expectiaons, I have found great comfort in the incredible kindness of strangers, friends and family, again beyond my wildest expectations. I don't think the world is all bad, and I hope you don't too.

Agree with alembec many people are incredibly kind and supportive. I''ve found that a nice part of being a single parent.

However, I completely understand where you're coming from. I'm nearly 5 years post separation and still can't imagine having another relationship - the shit exh put me through, that still continues to this day, tbh, and the truly horrible way his family have behaved. I suspect I'm never going to be 'ready' to go through anything like that again. It's made me very reluctant to let anyone get too close and I just tend to focus on my kids and work. But who knows, in another few years time, things might look different to both of us

why are you taking on all financial responsibility?
Is he not paying for his DC?

Thank you alembec and lifeinthecountry you're right, minimal contact has been extremely helpful....even though at times I've just wanted to scream and shout at them both! The amount of support i've had from people who I don't even know that well has been amazing. Even coming on this forum, and seeing other people are going through similar situations, makes me feel a lot stronger. Such a great way to share experiences and help one another.

inlectorecumbit once we separated, he moved away and started a new family, he did begin helping out financially but it very quickly became one excuse after another. In the end it was taking up all of my energy to chase him for support. For me personally, it was an easy decision to stop chasing and deal with it myself. Luckily I do have a supportive family, which has been incredible and made the decision easier.

Just putting it out there, but does anyone know of any meet up groups where people can get together and chat about these things?