Downloading DPs Phone Backup - Too far?

[Yandoori]

So i'm after some opinions and potentially a sense check. Full disclosure first off, because of a couple of very poor relationships in the past i am definitely on the more paranoid end of the trust spectrum! Sorry in advance for the long post. Short version is would you download your partner's phone backup if you wanted to "check up" on him?

For background - I've been with my DP 2 years, we have a very strong relationship but recently he's been working away i'm completely okay with as it's only for a few months, however whilst he's been over in Switzerland he's met up with an old Uni female friend a few times as she lives out there now, we spoke about it before he reached out to her and he checked i was comfortable that he got in contact, which i said i was fine with.

However now my paranoia kicks in and i've seen the odd message from her appearing on his phone, when he's home and i keep thinking there's something more to their meeting up. He's not secretive with his phone at all and leaves it around when he nips out for a run etc and i have looked at it but there's nothing incriminating, in fact there's very few messages (i'm sure they've messaged each other more) i never have too long to look at it. I mentioned this off hand to another female friend who works in IT and she's got some pretty nifty (and expensive) software to essentially download his entire iphone backup from the cloud without him knowing (he's given me his password in the past so i still have access to his itunes account), it downloads text and whatsapp messages, even some that have been deleted recently, and she said that if i'm eating myself up inside about it she may be willing to help providing i'm allowed access to his account.

So my question is twofold; 1) am i absolutely cuckoo and need to get a grip. 2) If i'm not is it a gross error and misuse of his trust to download his phone's text and whatsapp history whilst he's away to give myself some comfort? Would anybody else do so if they were in a similar position or would they need more than just a paranoid niggle to cause them to do this?

With PPs on this one. Huge invasion of privacy and if you were my partner and I found out you'd done this I'd be gone in a heartbeat.

I'm at the 'prone to mistrusting' end of the spectrum thanks to XH but I'd never do this. That way madness lies OP and it's a terrible infringement on his privacy. It's not a way to live your life and where would it stop? Car tracker? Cameras? Every time you didn't find any 'evidence' you'd be looking for it elsewhere because this sort of behaviour can feed itself. He'd inevitably find out because you'll be behaving differently, I'm sure of that.

He doesn't have glue-phone syndrome which I think says a lot. He sought your consent to speak to his uni friend to reassure you so can't you just tell him you're having an insecure five minutes and need some reassurance?

This thread is a couple of months old and looks like it was resurrected by a spammer earlier today.

I'd pack and leave if it was done to me..