How do I tell my bf to get a shower?

[VicarInATutuuu]

Honestly, it should just be "hey, you need a shower". But he's SO bloody stubborn. Last time I suggested he needed a shower, he didn't have one for another 2 days. He has one about once a week, and honestly he smells pretty grim. I've even gone of giving him BJs cause it's especially bad down there. He's not BJ motivated, so I can't try that tack. He showered regularly when we started dating! He's basically just a lazy slob, but absolutely brilliant in the other areas.

So how do I convince a stubborn guy to wash, without actually insulting him?

Yuk. I couldn't date somebody who was such an infrequent washer. Get rid.

That's disgusting, dump him. I couldn't go near someone who doesn't shower once a day or at least every other day. It's grim.

Yuck! I would just tell him. "Ugh, you smell have a bloody wash". If he didn't I wouldn't let him near me or in our bed. OH thinks it's funny to come to hug and kiss me when he gets in dripping sweat after his run, I always swat him away and tell him he's stinking. If he's not taking the hint in a jokey way I would actually sit him down and say 'right, in all seriousness your personal hygiene is becoming a problem for me I find it really off putting. Can you make sure you wash more frequently please'. Or take up a dirty protest yourself, ha ha ha!!

There's no way I could have a relationship with someone who had to be pestered to shower. Grim. Lazy.

Grim

Oh my!!!
I would never in a million years be with someone who didn't shower every day!
Ranker than rank.
Yeuk.
Please dump this useless, lazy, smelly 'man'

I couldn't be in the same room as a stinker so I think I would put to him that if he's not up for basic personal hygiene, I am not the woman for him.

That or I would empty a bucket of Zoflora on him every time I saw him, as a precaution.

It's disrespectful in the extreme and the stubborness of not showering for 2 days because you asked him to, is just plain weird.

Deal breaker for me. I would reduce to relationship to being pen pals.

I couldn't be with someone like this. Even if he changed his ways the respect would be in ruins.

'I would reduce to relationship to being pen pals.'

I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who didn't shower daily, and reacted so childishly to being told they stink.

It's not stubborn: it's disgusting and disrespectful to you.

Find yourself a proper functioning adult.

I'm failing to see how brilliant he can really be if a) he doesn't wash; and b) he'll actually refuse to shower when told he is starting to get a bit whiffy, just out of sheer contrariness.

Do you actually share a bed with him?

Unusual first ever posting....

However, the answer is not that you tell him to get a shower, the answer is to leave him. If he exists.

Massive difference between had a hard day and whiffs and filth like a tramp, if my partner stinks after a day sitting on trains and in offices I say "get in the shower you stink" if he refused I would tickle him with my fists till he saw sense but I can't see any grown man refusing or delaying a shower, is he 15???

How can you possibly want a future with such a lazy, useless, and disgusting man? I would be out the door and down the hall so fast his head would spin.

Girty999

Agreed, there is something nice about a man who has been hard at work all day and comes in a little sweaty and dirty.

However a lazy slob.....nope

Just ewwwwwww. Surely he must feel rank in himself, how can you feel good knowing you last washed days ago!!

Complete deal breaker. If he can't be bothered to shower, what else will he not be bothered to do I. Future? Really doesn't bode well.

No sex and no sharing the bed if that was my partner.
I have two teenage boys who shower every day with no nagging, an adult who can't is grim.

How long have you been with him? This would be a deal breaker for me tbh, unless there were mental health problems involved. And never mind BJs, he wouldn't be getting close to me in any way if he stank. You need to sit him down and make it clear that he scrubs up or you're over.

Yuck!

So, it sort of snuck up on me the realisation of how bad his personal hygiene is, which is why I've not addressed it earlier. And then I thought maybe I was over reacting, and I can be quite timid about bringing up criticism (abusive ex partner).
But honestly, seeing everyone's posts has made me realise I do need to have a word. And honestly, if i was reading this post I'd say the same as you all have.

puts on my big girl pants

I can't believe you are asking for advice on how to get a grown man to perform basic personal hygiene. Does this mean you are actually willing to continue a relationship with this man? A man who washes only once a week. I used to bathe my dogs more frequently than that. That's disgusting. This man has no respect for himself as a human being and no respect for you. I cannot imagine putting my body or my mouth on someone who does not shower at MINIMUM once a day. Even that i find grim. Twice a day should be standard.

Don't go out with men who can't wash themselves?

Have some standards! FFS, that's just disgusting. The whole idea of 'dating and relationships and forming partnerships' is that you act nicely to 'attract' a mate. He won't even wash and you still give him a relationship. Raise your standards!

Do you live together? I wouldn't be opening the door unless I got a whiff of Lynx shower gel.