Messaging new guy...

[thing1andthing3]

What would be 'too much' for you? Like the way they come across with all compliments and things ? I'm not in a relationship with him only Been messaging for a few days but he's calling me babe and things and I'm not sure if it's too much I'm not used to messaging men as I've been in a LTR.

Have you actually met him?

If anyone called me babe I'd hate it so maybe I'm the wrong person to comment , but I'd say if he makes you uncomfortable then it's time to step away. If it's okay for you then carry on.

Me too - hate babe!

That would be way too full on for me and to me would give the impression of it being something he does a lot which I'd find off-putting

I'd only use texting to set up dates. Some relationships start at a ridiculous pace & people get over invested way too quickly & then wonder why it fizzles out.

ALERT: BEWARE! MASSIVE SWEEPING GENERALISATION AHEAD . .

In a dating context, often men who use the word "babe" or similar in text messages or to address women are doing it because they have several on the go at one time and it's easier than using names because they get them mixed up.

END OF MASSIVE SWEEPING GENERALISATION.

Possibly Pitt , but if they use your name too much I find it creepy too.

I'd just meet up OP. You've no idea if he's genuinely for you unless you go for it.

I think you're right Pitt

Players will have loads on the go & it's easier

In a dating context, often men who use the word "babe" or similar in text messages or to address women are doing it because they have several on the go at one time and it's easier than using names because they get them mixed up.

My first thought bitter experience now happily single!

If you can't talk about what you do and don't like with someone then they aren't the right person for you.

Personally I've noticed lots of people using the term 'babe' generally like they would 'hun' (bleugh!), it doesn't mean the same to them as it does to me.

Me and DH use babe a lot 🙈🙈 Both in mid thirties. Just meet him and see how you go he could just be being nice!!

What constitutes a 'player' exactly? Many of the women on the dating thread on here have many conversations going on at once, with several irons in the fire. That doesn't mean they're players, it just means it's a fairly common approach to online dating.

However, someone may call a woman babe because he can't be bothered to remember her name, because he's trying to compliment her, or simply as a term of endearment.

That said, it really doesn't matter. If you want him to stop calling you babe, ask him not to. If he still does, or he gets pissed off, then drop him. If it irritates you now, then now is the time to move on.

It feels disingenuous to me. But some people find pet names sweet.

Unless you are a pig he is bu. .

We are only messaging never met yet. We are in our early 30's. I don't know if he's coming across kind of immature for his age and maybe a bit desperate I don't know. I'm new to all this and I do find him attractive. I just imagine that he's too good to be true and genuine. And I'm ready for your next messages but here goes..... he claims he's a virgin

What if I meet up with him and it's all because he sounds like Mickey Mouse or something else really obvious to why he is single

That makes me sound really shallow actually

Do you have plans to meet? Ask to speak on the phone and meet asap then you will know!

And can also tell him to quit it with the babing

Would u believe the virgin thing though?

A virgin? In his 30s!

He will have masses of issues. Him calling you babe is the least of it

So. You haven't met him yet. You don't know what he sounds like, you've only seen photos of him which may not actually be him. He's said he's a virgin in his 30s, possibly desperate and he's immature and calls you babe

Some of these are true. Some may not be. You can't know until you've met him.

It's very easy to actually meet people using online dating. Meeting someone who you actually fancy, who fancies you, and who isn't weird - that's the challenge.

Until you've met him and checked him out in person, don't overthink. Decide if you want to meet him given all the above, and then meet him and then decide if you want to see him again

Or, drop him (politely) and move on.

I would not meet a man for a date who told me he was a virgin when we'd never met. Being a 30something virgin isn't necessarily an issue (though honestly, been there and it wasn't pretty!) but over sharing it? Run a mile.

I'm not saying this is the case with you but I'd personally be wary
I once had someone way over the top with compliments, using my name a lot in messages, my gut told me he wasn't right
I just didn't feel comfortable with it
To cut I long story short I belive I had I narrow escape from a narcissist, I don't use that lightly, but he become abusive and controlling, I got out quickly
Google love bombing and see if any of it resonates
Of course he may just be super keen, but trust your gut always

No virgin man ever used the word babe. It's scientifically proven.