Unsure how I can help

[User02]

I used to live a few doors along from a family who had one child just like me. A few years ago I moved house and more recently moved again back to a place nearby where this other mum lives. I met her at the local mall and could hardly believe my eyes. The mum looks so old and haggard it was so shocking. She told me that her husband had died about 10+ years ago. She was never a heavy girl but she is painfully thin now.
I met her again a few months later in a supermarket. She was quite flustered but we chatted. Then a young female of about 12 or 13 years came up and told my friend off for talking to people (me) and that her mum was waiting. We went to the check outs and a woman aged about 30 was shouting and swearing at her 3 children who included the 12/13 year old who spoke earlier, and she was also swearing and impatient to my former neighbour.

It was very uncomfortable to be among this watching my neighbour being shouted and sworn at and also the kids. I was angry that I was being made aware that the 30 year old's wishes over ruled my wish to catch up with news with a former neighbour. I was expecting her to start on me at any moment.

I saw her again today. She was alone I think. I was about to go to an appointment or I would have stopped to chat. She looks even worse than before.

I am not sure what I should have done the time I met her with her daughter and 3 granschildren. I have often wondered if I should have said that is not the way to speak to your mother. I wonder how much unpleasantness she is coming in for. If the daughter shouted and swore in a crowded local superarket I wonder if there is more going on out of sight,
I am concerned for this lady. I am not sure if it is significant that her husband is long dead. I remember him, he was a decent type.
Has anyone got any thoughts about this. I am really not sure about this at all.

It must have been just shocking to see this woman in such a state. Do you have her phone number? Perhaps you could call her and try to open up a dialogue. My only concern, and I do NOT mean to sound cold-hearted, but we all need to be careful of what and who we invite into our lives. This woman sounds as though she might have a drug problem/mental health problem, and while your intention to want to help her is admirable, you might find yourself immersed in a situation you can't possibly help with.

Do you know where she lives? You could knock on her door one day and say you were just in the area and wondred how she was doing?

What were the swearwords?

Could it be the daughter has to look after her children and mum as well and the stress got to her?

Truth is, you won't know until you ask (and you may be tokd to mind your business).

Thanks for responses.
I was shocked at the deterioration in the lady. I could have understood if the husband had recently died but it was such a long time ago.
I will call at the house and just say I was passing. I will be most careful not to tread on toes but I will be watchful silently looking around
I am not sure if the lady is really as old as needing care. I estimate her age as 60 to 65. She moved to this place when she got married and I have never heard of any siblings for her so she could be completely alone apart from the daughter.
The children were around 12, 8 and 1 but they seemed to be well behaved other than being cheeky to their grandmother, probably taking their lead from their mum.

The daughter was constantly using the F swear word. I do not find it acceptable for a female to be swearing so constantly in front of her children and her mother in a public place where many local people are likely to be, therefore the older lady's neighbours.

Thanks for views. I will visit and be watchful.