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Should alarm bells be ringing?

12 replies

shakalakadoodah · 23/07/2017 00:30

There have been a few things this year which have made me feel a little suspicious of DH, but perhaps I'm just being paranoid or looking for him doing something (we haven't had a good relationship recently )

The first thing was when he got a new phone in January he put a lock code on it, neither of us had ever had locks on our phones, I only realised he had it one day when I pressed his phone to see the time. I dismissed it as perhaps it had just been in the general set up of the new phone.

Then a couple of weeks ago whilst doing some laundry a piece of paper fell out of his work trousers pocket, I didn't even look at it at the time, just put it on the side. But by chance a couple of days later I picked it up again. DH works in a restaurant so when a drinks order is taken it prints out for him to action, that's what this piece of paper was, just a standard order but in the 'notes' section it said 'make it hot like you' and the servers name on it was female. I've worked in hospitality and know there is alot of 'banter' etc but I felt a bit uneasy about this. I showed it to DH and he said that as he's in a management position he had been keeping the checks with mistakes on!

And the final suspicious behaviour, we have an ipad, which DH uses more often than me. I'm visiting family this weekend and decided to bring it with me, I wouldn't usually bother. I logged on to it on friday evening and tried to look at our joint email, which is always logged in on there, except it had been logged off. I text DH to ask if he'd logged out of it, his reply was that it had asked him to enter the password last time he tried to check emails.

Because this seemed a bit odd to me I had a look at the internet browsing history. It only went back to Thursday. I've never checked the history before and thought perhaps it only showed 2 days browsing, but just looked again now and it still goes back to Thursday.

Am I right to be wondering if he is taking me for a fool? Sorry I've just read this back and realised how long it is.

OP posts:
bebesidetheseaside · 23/07/2017 00:37

Ok, try not to get too worried just yet. There are lots of explanations. If....maybe he was watching or doing something on your iPad that he shouldn't have been and he deleted history, then that's a good explanation as to why your email was logged off. If you delete all history, it deletes passwords unless saved.

I'd say it's possible he's up to something he doesn't want you to see , hence not being able to get on his phone BUT at this point, until you have anymore signs then maybe just assume he's watching porn or something.

Parttimesuperhero · 23/07/2017 00:39

From what you've mentioned I don't think there's any cause for concern. Most phones require a passcode nowadays and the paper & emails all seem above board.
The comment on the receipt could have easily been to another colleague.
If he was up to no good & using his email then I think he would have been edgy about you taking the iPad.
I would give him the benefit of the doubt as there doesn't seem to be anything to suggest otherwise.

LoveDeathPrizes · 23/07/2017 00:43

Hmm. I'm always a bit unsure about clearing history because, to be honest, it's really easy to go incognito for anything dodgy. But yeah, he's obviously been clearing the history. If he's cleared the phone history and this is linked to the iPad that could be why.

I'd be unhappy about the service tab. I think the most innocent explanation would be that he was flattered and he's fibbed but still.

As far as new phone and password, if it's an iPhone then yeah, makes sense.

shakalakadoodah · 23/07/2017 00:48

Its not an iphone, I think its a windows phone. I'm not very tech savvy so I don't know what's normal!

OP posts:
Gemini69 · 23/07/2017 00:51

don't all phones have security on them now... 4 digit pins etc .. I wouldn't ever question why someone had a pin on their phone.. what if it gets stolen ? Confused

Cricrichan · 23/07/2017 02:36

I never had a passcode until this phone. And now whenever I log on to my email, I have to accept it through my phone. If it's a joint email, you've got access to it surely? And if he did Wang to do something dodgy with email, he'd just set up a new account?

LurkingFather · 23/07/2017 04:18

Wrt phone and pin, even if it is not new, maybe simply someone like me has given him a friendly bollocking re lack of security. It could cost you thousands if someone maliciously gets hold of your phone and places e.g. a call to an expensive number. I am told this is what SIM card thieves do - own a 0900 number and let stolen phones ring there for a few or many thousands. So all our phones have both PINs and SIM locks engaged.

Re history, I do delete mine from time to time. My wife knows by and large what my browsing is, but I do not like devices to hold on to it for serious length and as I do not know how to set it to e.g. a month or whatever, I delete whenever I think of it.

Re emails, if he was cheating, would he use the shared email and iPad to organise that? Then I would suggest you should leave him for being not just an arse, but a really thick one....

LellyMcKelly · 23/07/2017 04:21

Sometimes an email account makes you log into it again when it updates. If he wanted a personal account it would have been easy to set one up.

Tofutti · 23/07/2017 08:17

I think it's strange he now has a PIN. Most phones let you choose to have a PIN or not.

The note is very dodgy. He's clearly pocketed because it was a memento of a flirtation, not for management reasons (errors go in the pocket, really 😏).

Next time tell him you want to Google something and ask for his PIN. Check his reaction.

WinchestersInATardis · 23/07/2017 09:12

Most phones do have PINs now but most don't require it. However, if he's using any kind of payment app like paypal or online banking, then the PIN is mandatory if the app can be used.

Huskylover1 · 23/07/2017 12:20

I think the phone PIN is normal. I got a new phone a few months ago, and it has forced me to have a pin, when I don't even want one!

Can't you log in to the e-mails?

If you are suspicious, I would be checking all apps, tbh

Gemini69 · 24/07/2017 00:56

PINS on mobiles are now standard security.... just ask for the Pin... my kids all know my pin.. I get weird selfies and all sorts left on it.. Confused

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