How to get over jealousy of your husband

[ImTooFarAwayFromBeingMe]

So my husband has so much freedom. With me being a SAHM I don't go anywhere, I don't have friends because I don't have the chance to make any. I've always been the main carer for the children. We have 5. My husband is working long hours until Thursday and Monday Wednesday and Thursday the hours will be way up until 21:00 at night. He has Friday off and he wants to spend this day meeting his friends for a night out so he will probably leave home at 17:00 Friday and then he out all night probably until 2:00am. He's off Saturday as well but he will be hungover all that day so he won't want to do much then so I'm very jealous that I will be stuck at home with the kids doing the cooking and tea and bedtime routine Monday through to Friday without little help from him and I won't get one bit of a. Real during that time and I'm extremely jealous and resentful that he can just go off on Friday and relax with his friends. It will be Saturday before I get any help but he will be hungover so won't be up to doing much. Is it normal for me to feel jealous of this? He does go out regularly although it's not every week and I go nowhere. I don't have any family to help me so I feel really alone. I am seething with anger at the thought of Him going out. He also gets to pursue a hobby of his 2 nights a week too. I just feel angry, resentful and jealous and I just don't know how to get past it. If I take the children out as it's the summer Holidays now i can't keep them cooped up at home it will be a very stressful event because it's a nightmare taking them on public transport. ( I don't drive but my husband does)
Am I in the wrong to feel the way I do?

"He said if he doesn't go he will make sure all his friends know it's me not allowing him to go. "

Yep. Selfish arse who sees you as the domestic help. Not a partner in any sense of the word.

I'm sorry OP. He sounds awful.

He needs to do his share of parenting alone so you can have time without the kids as well. I.e. two weekends a month are for you to leave the kids with him (or two Friday evening-Sat... however much free time he gets). I seriously don't understand why anyone would assume the stay at home parent doesn't get to have a life outside of the kids and the one who works doesn't feel any sense of responsibility at home.

This was the dynamic between me and my exH. He would never help/participate on the weekends/evenings, would never spend a day with them to give me time away yet he would leave and do whatever he wanted all the time. Note that he is ex. Now he has to do his fair share of weekends. He cancels a lot, but I still get more of a break now than I did when he was around. Can't stand selfish entitled people.

P.S there is no getting over it. The only way through is to set him straight and make him do his fair share (and him realizing this is how a partnership is supposed to work and therefore not sulking or acting out as a result)

Or else LTB. Because this is not a relationship and no way to live if he doesn't pull up his socks and start behaving like a husband and father. Without you he will have no choice but to do entire evenings and weekends on his own if he intends to have a relationship with his kids so he should just smarten up.

Is it jealousy or fury at his selfishness? Why are you talking about this as if you have no agency, as if he's the boss and you just have to accept his behaviour? How has this situation even come about?

He said if he doesn't go he will make sure all his friends know it's me not allowing him to go

And? What's so important - to you, not him - about their opinions? Call his bluff - if he goes bleating to his friends about how he's 'not allowed' to go out he's going to sound like a whiny little 12 year old. Either that or go out on Saturday and let him cope with the kids and his hangover. You know, like an actual parent?

And start looking for a job.

WTF? Why do you even want to be with him? He sounds awful! Just because your a SAHM doesn't meen your not entitled to some you time. He's a parent too, not just you! Why did he have kids if he didn't want to spend any time with them? He's basically got a live in housekeeper and nanny hasn't he!
He sounds very controlling, just because he works? So what? You work hard bringing up his 5 kids!!
If it was me I'd chuck him out, you'd then get maintenance for 5 children and also the weekend to yourself, bet he wouldn't be a fan of that idea if you kindly explained how treating you like shit is going to drive that to happen. His spare time wouldn't be about him anymore!

You don't need to get over being jealous of him - he needs to get over being an arsehole. It's so sad that some women think they have to put up with this behaviour, and some men exploit that.

I'm just fed up. He was in a night shift last night, and was supposed to finish 10 this morning, now he got a message from some woman he knows because her curtain pole fell down so now he's got to go rush to hers to fix it after work after I've been with the kids all weekend. I'm sick of it

You need to arrange something for a Friday, tell him it's your turn.

Even if it's a spa, a night in a hotel to chill, or seeing family without kids x

Sorry but some women he nows he has to fix her curtain pole... do you now this women are you really going to accept that...

He's going to help (if it is her curtain pole) some women why you're stuck with his kids

Ffs he's taking the piss out of you !!

Her curtain pole fell down? Haha!

Sorry op that was not helpful

Channel your anger into something useful. Get your self a solicitor and kick him out.

I wonder how long it will take him to get it up?

Call round solicitors on Monday and get the balling.

What a stupid story, do you really believe that? Please chuck him out!! He's walking all over you.

Ball rolling that should say!

Hmmm... not sure why you should take on voluntary work as well??
He sounds awful tbh and extremely childish. They're his children as well.