DH walked out from job

[Turefu]

We had a row yesterday, about money. He's been at this job for over year, seem to be happy there, but it's based nearly 30 miles away and , after paying for petrol and keeping some money , he put £200 to the bank. I've suggested moving nearer his work, but he refused. I said we need more then that, but his answer is "you can work longer hours". I run little cleaning business and all my customers live nearby. He told me today morning, he handed notice , as it was, what I wanted and won't be working there anymore. He has no other job lined up and we have no savings. I don't know, what to do.

has he actually handed in his notice?
hopefully somethign else will turn up, can he grovel and get it back in the meantime?

aargh.

£200 a week, month? What proportion of his earnings did £200 represent and how much did he keep back? How does it compare with your earnings?

So how will you manage financially now?

30 miles is a long way. Maybe he just couldn't cope with the distance

Well if he couldn't cope (and 30 miles isn't that far, although I appreciate it can take an age depending on the traffic) then the sensible thing would have been to find another bloody job, not just quit.

Can you up your hours and kick the waste of space out?

I'm not sure did he really handed notice, to be honest. We live in semi- rural area, so transport is an issue, but his previous jobs were closer. I earn about £300 per week, his £200 is per week. We've got mortgage just short from £600. We can't afford to live off my earnings only.

So he hasn't quit??

He said he did.

I guess you'll know on Monday or when he would have next been due at work.

It's exceeding irresponsible to just quit like that. Regardless of the distance.

I've known people commute between Birmingham and London every day. That's closer to 100 miles each way.

Probably need more information.

30 miles in nothing if he is driving unless its basically a queue from beginning to end. Take it public transport was an option.

You wanted more money. Was this cause he was keeping too much and family expenses werent being met (i.e. the mortgage you mention)? Or you just wanted him to earn more. In which case why didnt you try that? If he has to move job why not you? After all moving seemed to be an option.

Are there children involved?

Does he have form of responding to your requests for change in this way? Seems a gross over reaction to what was an argument about petrol costs?

oops: Take it public transport was not an option.

What? When I was a single mum I travelled 40 miles to work at one point to keep a roof over my sons head.
What kind of selfish is that. I'd go ballistic.

30 miles is a long way. Maybe he just couldn't cope with the distance

30 miles is nothing, its not anything that needs coping with.

Is it even possible to make 200 quid a week for full time work? What is his plan to pay the mortgage? Is he always such a useless git?

I'm not sure did he really handed notice, to be honest

But you are married to this guy? (You call him DH).

Surely these are the basics to know if married to someone...

Honesty, integrity, communication seem to be lacking. What are you going to do about it. Seems you have it together with your business.

Maybe time to do an inventory of your marriage and see if it fits your life plan.

All the best.

30 miles is nothing, its not anything that needs coping with. it depends on the journey. 10 miles commute takes an hour here

Yes, we need more income . We've got two cars, it's a necessity where we live. I've started my business few years ago and it fitted good with childcare, we've got one son, he's five now. I'm thinking about changing job though, I've started AAT course. I don't think he'd lie about something like that. His wages are £350 per week, but he puts to the bank £200. When I asked him: "So what we're going to do now?" his answer was "I don't know." I'm worried sick.

maybe move somewhere where two cars are not necessity?

He won't consider that. I've suggested to move to the town 12 miles from his work, he refused. He's very attached to the house, his parents used to live there ( complicated story).

30 miles is not a long commute at all. Plenty of people do twice that. I don't understand how he could only have £200 net wages after petrol? Petrol isn't that expensive!

Bit of an over reaction by him but tbh if my partner told me I needed to bring more money home and wasn't prepared to work extra themselves I'd be angry and feel like a cashpoint.

Hang on, OP runs a business and chicldare (assuming so because she said her business fits in with childcare) and contributes more than he does. He's the one that doesn't want to move and reduce the commuting costs. SHE's the one at fault?Why should she work more? Sounds to me like she's pulling her weight.

OP I'd reconsider a future with such a man-child. What kind of man quits his job with no idea how they'll provide for their child?

Unless he drives a Range Rover or similar he wasn't spending £150 per week on petrol! What was he doing with the extra money? He sounds irresponsible tbh, if he has actually quit and hasn't just said that to wind you up! My stbxh did something similar to me years ago. Told me he'd quit when he hadn't. It was just to see me freak out about how we were going to survive on my wages alone. He was a nasty git though!

He kept some money as pocket money, I didn't mind it, as long as this £200 was in the bank. But it not always was, as cars break easily, costs of commuting are really high. He starts work very early morning and late lunchtime. He collects our son from school, I come back home later. He sometimes cooks, sometime he doesn't, when I'll tell him to cook or do something, he does. But we just manage on our income and I can't afford to keep us on my wage only. He never said about leaving job , he always work his entire adult life , he left one job to go to the next one. I'm shocked and confused.

I live in a semi-rural area and drive 31miles to work. Usually takes 50-70mins. No big deal really.

If you're young, living at home, with no real responsibilities then you can potentially afford to walk out on a job hate. If you have a family, bills and other responsibilities you just have to suck it up until you can find something else.