Splitting up?

[Chimpanzy]

So I've been with DH for around 10 years, married for 7 and 2 DS. I'm completely fed up in my marriage... Despite everyone thinking my husband is great and that I'm so lucky.. apart from my closest friends who can see that he's a disrespectful selfish prat.

I have been a SAHM up until recently where I found a little job.. Not in my original career.. I'm not really supported in going back to that even though I would like too now my children are older. It was a joint decision for me to give up work... But in some ways it has always made me feel less equal.. He constantly doesn't and never has realised that my role at home is as important as his. He will do DIY but never helps out daily with the kids (if I ask him to pick up it feels like he's doing me a favour) or housework and can't remember the last time he made any meal at any time of the day! I know primarily these are my roles at home.... But even if he's home early or at the weekend he just does what he wants... Doesn't make the lunch/dinner or put kids to bed nothing..

If I wanna go out (which isn't often maybe a handful of times a year) I feel like I'm asking permission and then get made to feel guilty because I have the life of luxury! And I still have to make sure his dinner is done and the kids are sorted.

He tells me I never want sex even though that's not true... He never starts it and never really hugs or kisses me... Tells me he loves me all the time though. Then there's the jokey name calling or put downs. Maybe they are jokes but I don't get them?

It's not one major thing that makes me wanna leave its the constant lack of support and disregard for my feelings... I feel like I don't matter... Like I'm not valued... My family arent near by but his are and quite poorly...And I don't mind helping with that but now the level of care needed has changed and I'm expected to take that on too.. Because I do nothing all day... I have tried telling him how I feel but he turns it around or makes me feel stupid... It's pointless I won't get anywhere nothing will change but how do I leave? I have a small wage and nowhere to go.

I dunno seems all a bit stupid now I've written down. 😥

It's not stupid at all, being unhappy is a good reason to end a marriage.

Can you look for a better job for a start? Do you own your home?

It's possible thints could get better if he knows you're serious about leaving but if not he will have to pay child support to you.

I'd advise to start looking at the practicalities and possible solutions to obstacles. Tax credits for instance.

You are going tho leave. That puts you in a position of power to change things - if you want to that it's.

You spell out clearly what needs to change if he wants to save the marriage. Perhaps marriage counseling.

If you don't think its worth saving then acquaint yourself with the finances, get copies of everything. Research your options well and think about your career as a single person. Look long-term.