It's taken me a long time to decide whether to post about this as it's very upsetting to me. I don't even know what I'm looking for really. I have tried talking to RL friends/ family about this but get shut down with "You asked him to do it"
I will try not to drip feed.
My husband and I have been together for nearly 10 years and soon to celebrate 7 years of marriage. We have have always have a good relationship and very healthy sex life.
I gave birth to our DD in spring last year. Much wanted baby and my H is a very hands on father. I couldn't have asked for a better dad for my DD.
Before I got pregnant, we had some issues getting and staying pregnant. We suffered two devastating miscarriages over the course of 7 years, first being at 23 weeks and the second being at 12 weeks (I carried my loss for 6 weeks without knowing) Both times I haemorrhaged which resulted in emergency surgery to stop it and needing blood transfusions. It took us 6 years to fall pregnant in between this time.
After second miscarriage I was adamant it would take another 6 years and had effectively given up hope. I fell pregnant 4 months later with DD and we couldn't be happier. I suffered with severe morning sickness and lost 2st 8lbs in pregnancy which affected sex (too exhausted, sick) We probably had sex 3 times over the course of 9 months.
With everything that we had been through and my bad pregnancy I asked to be sterilised they refused. My H offered to have a vasectomy. He had the procedure down 3 months after DD was born. It took 4 weeks from referral from GP to actually having it done. In that time I had said to him I think it's a bad idea, maybe we should wait every day. He blamed hormones and that I would be fine with it etc.
The day of the vasectomy, we had a huge row, him saying I had left it to last minute to tell him how I felt, we both always wanted children. He threw me on the bed and said "come on then since you want another baby so badly" I completely lost it, crying, and told him to get out. I don't know what would have happened if I had been undressed. It was completely out of character.
I really hoped he would have gone and cooled off but he went and had the procedure done anyway. That night I told him I don't know if I would be able to forgive me, he broke down, and said he had gone through with it because he couldn't see me go through all that again, the sickness, horrific blood loss, the hurt.
Fast forward to now, a year later, and I still feel exactly the same. I desperately want to have another baby, he wants a baby too. The way he behaved with pushing me on the bed still plays on my mind and has affected our sex life. Not as often, takes a lot longer to get into.
I know the simply solution would seem to be to have a reversal but I don't ovulate very often and haven't since DD was 4 months old. I don't know where we go from here.