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Relationships

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One amazing magical night...3 years later I'm still not over him!

14 replies

Bethharden96 · 21/07/2017 16:10

Over 3 years ago my cousins best friend who lives a 4-5 hour drive away from me had the most ridiculous romantic one night thing. I won't go into all the details but it involves a hot tub, watching shooting stars me telling him (God knows why) my deepest darkest secret at the time which is still a huge deal for me now, all at his house which also happens to be 5 meters from the beach.(vomit worthy right?).
Naturally I became obsessed which did not help given my depression at the time and eating disorder (the big secret which I still suffer from but not so secret now) as well as a false positive pregnancy text after it which he didn't know about. So after some talking over text, I told him I had feelings but I was not expecting anything due to the distance and we sort of ended talking.
I actually got with my current boyfriend 3 months later and was not totally over him then.
Me and my boyfriend have the best relationship, every moment spent together is like being on holiday even the really boring things like finances, our arguments never last more than a few hours, we aren't perfect but I love him so much and have absolutely no intention of breaking up with him, I've never felt so comfortable with another person, we are such a good fit. However, I still think about my cousins friend far more often than I'd hope, and every now and then It gets quite intense, I even dream of him, I don't understand why I'm not over him, I'm happy, it's been long enough, I love my life as well as my SO but still! I don't know if it's because we left it because of distance or because as he's my cousins best friend I very occasionally still see him, or because of how intense it was due to my mental state. Has anyone experienced anything like this. I just want to forget about him.

OP posts:
sonjadog · 21/07/2017 16:38

Can you see that that night and your feelings are just a fantasy? They aren't founded on reality.

Catchytune · 21/07/2017 16:41

Why do you want to forget it? Sounds a great night and you have moved on to a great relationship with someone else. Can't it just be a great memory from that time without meaning anything else?

For what it's worth worth if you told him all your deepest darkest secrets on the first night I doubt the relationship would go more than a few weeks. Would come across as too needy and intense once the magic of the moment wears off.
I think it's more that nice close feeling you get with old family friends or cousins. There should be a name for it! I don't think it's uncommon.

ladystarkers · 21/07/2017 16:42

I think its just escapism from reality, a nice fantasy.

ladystarkers · 21/07/2017 16:44

I don't know why you would want to forget it...

Neutrogena · 22/07/2017 07:03

Time to grow up

RainyApril · 22/07/2017 07:59

I think I could fall in love with anyone watching shooting stars from a hot tub on the beach.

The special thing you're remembering is the setting and the experience, not him.

He's nothing special at all, just an ordinary man who would have annoying habits and not look anywhere near as exciting in an everyday relationship where he cleaned the toilet and came home from work in a grumpy mood.

If it was meant to be, he wouldn't have backed off afterwards. My bet is you probably weren't the first girl or the last girl that he treated to a night in his hot tub.

Savour the memory, see it for what it was and enjoy your very real and lovely relationship.

Oly5 · 22/07/2017 08:03

It was a romantic night that you can treasure forever but every time you think of HIM, remind yourself he didn't want you enough to drive a few hours and that you actually know very little about him. Your latest boyfriend sounds lovely and REAL

Oly5 · 22/07/2017 08:04

Ps I had very similar experiences eith a man from overseas- met in Thailand, met up again in wonderful holiday destinations and capital cities. Went on for two years... But he never could commit to more than the odd meeting. You realise after a while that despite the romance, it's not real

Loopytiles · 22/07/2017 08:07

It's just a powerful fantasy.

You also sound a bit overly romantic, "hearts and flowers", in thinking about your (really good by the sounds of it!) RL relationship (eg "every day's like a holiday").

Teddy1970 · 22/07/2017 08:20

What RainyApril said....washing his socks and him snoring usually brings you back to reality. Enjoy it for what it was, a bit of escapism.

RiseToday · 22/07/2017 08:42

I'm pretty sure you can't get a false positive pregnancy test!

Hassled · 22/07/2017 08:48

I think ladystarkers is right - why do you need to forget about him? You had an amazing, wonderful night where everything aligned and it was magic. That's a lovely memory to have - and it'd be nice if you still had it when you're 80. So treasure it. It doesn't have any impact on your current relationship, which sounds good and strong; it doesn't mean you love your current BF any less. Don't overthink it.

Catchytune · 22/07/2017 08:57

Can I add....

Think about " Love Island"! A whole tv based on exactly the same premise of amazing dates and sharing of secrets.

So think of it as a episode you were in and maybe got voted off early Grin

Bethharden96 · 22/07/2017 10:08

Funny thing is I'm really not, I was always the quite negative at the idea of a relationship with most. just honestly surprised that I can still enjoy someone's company so much after 3 years.

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