I am sat in my beautiful garden

[SilverdaleGlen]

Of my beautiful house, waiting to pick up my beautiful children and emailing my good job I worked my absolute arse off to achieve.

And I feel sick inside again because of a man, well 2, making me feel worthless and wrong. Again.

I am going to choose anger, I always choose guilt but this time I am going to stick to my promise to myself and my kids that no man will ever enter the world I have created for us. I'm shutting the doors to me and I will never ever open them up again.

Has anyone else chosen to shut off that part of their life?

With you there op, currently on the road to getting the life I want and when I get there no man will be allowed near enough to screw it up again
It's very exciting and looking forward to sitting in my own garden on my own terms x

Hi SilverdaleGlen :)

Do you mean, shut yourself off from the opportunity to love and be loved? YES! I have! I feel its a little bit sad for me though OP.
I know how you are feeling. I know what it feels like to be hurt, to feel pain, to be let down.
Are you ok?

I do User, I'm so damaged I can't do it again. I can be happy just exploring what I want from the world, not having to open myself up and let someone in.

Ruddy I'll join you on that journey, I was on it and a I blipped for a pretty face and I won't do it again.

I'm not ok, today is a grey day, but I'll be fine tomorrow.

Yes, I've done it. No one is ever going to turn my life upside down and make me so very unhappy again. I have a lovely house, beautiful garden, great sons and grandchildren, and I have peace.

I have the best friend anyone could wish for though, we laugh, go places, support each other and I can rely on her. Men are not always the answer, not by any means. But I'm older. Didn't give up until I was 51.

Well, there's helpful.

Sat on btw

Nobody has the power to make you happy or unhappy except you so start by not blaming men. If you believe cutting yourself off from that part of you is taking responsibility for your own happiness then I think thats the right decision for you.

I feel the same. To me, it just isn't worth it. I've got my DS and my family and friends who love me unconditionally.

A stable environment for myself and DS is more important to me than pursuing a relationship.

Duck off Gin. Not the time.

Les I'm not blaming all men, there are some good ones out there. In fact most probably are, good and flawed just like me. The men who have hurt me are good people but their flaws have hurt me and I clearly don't have the emotional capacity to totally control my own happiness unaffected by others. If you can I wish I had half your strength.

GinUser Can we organise to send you a medal or some kind of award? Should we ask MN if they can delete the thread so that the OP can rewrite it with appropriate grammar?

OP, more power to your elbow whether that elbow is sat or sitting

I'm in a similar place and tbh it really works wonders. It's not a case of taking 'time out' or whatever, you are just focusing on the here and now and working out what works for you and what doesn't. Keep going chick.

More power to your elbow! You may choose to keep the doors shut forever, or you may choose at some point to just tentatively open, or anything else you might choose.

But for now enjoy your beautiful garden and your beautiful children.

Pretty shocked at the grammar I see on here!

If the grammar bothers you so much may I suggest closing the thread without responding?

Or if you want to hang around, how about responding kindly to the OP who is clearly having a bad time?

I'm recently separated and wondering if I could ever let a man in again. I can't see it.

Sounds like you need some healing time OP, time to just be.
Who knows what the future holds but I think it's good to plan a life filled with things and people who enhance life not drain it.

I'll certainly never get involved with a joy draining angry man again that's for sure.
Enjoy your home, enjoy your garden and family and I hope you find contentment soon.

I'm shocked at the poster (clearly the same person) who leaps on to correct grammar, what a dick, you have to laugh at their own mistake though, saton indeed - poor behaviour.

Oh OP, I know it hurts but time is a great healer. I believe these things (although feel terrible at times) make us stronger. We are always learning about people, whats important, who is important and about ourselves. VladmirsPoutine has some great advise. Its about what is best for you right now. If shutting yourself off is what you have to do right now then so be it.
I have a great quote about being open to love and not letting people or things that have happened get in the way.
Hope you are ok!