How can I "help" my husband eat healthy?

[Snafu1988]

A thing he wants too. I need some hands on advice. My hubby is really unhappy with his weight. He is working out a lot, but constantly snacking. He is not really fat, put a bit pudgy and intensely unhappy with it.

He eats a lot of junk food, like candy bars and crisps and actually wants to stop but "cannot". I found smoothies to be a great idea but I cannot make smoothies every day it starts to bore him.

I do not want to patronize him just help. Any ideas?

Look into the No S diet.
It involves cutting out snacking , sweets and seconds Monday to Friday but eating normal meals.
There are threads in the weight loss section.
It's more of a discipline than a diet.

I think you are helping already. Agree with MyFitnessPal App.
Crisps are one of my absolute favourite things. They are very hard to cut down on, if you're a big fan, as I am.

Thank you so much Oblomov17 for saying that I am already helping. Yesterday I was so down and felt so helpless and like I am always doing the wrong thing.. but now I think I am doing the right thing.

I do fear I am patronizing him, but I am not, am I? Only helping!

It's meant to be 80% diet and 20% exercise that affects weight, so can you get that basic message across to him? Make him see clearly that working out isn't the issue here.

80% diet. I did not know that. Where is that statistics from? I will sure show it to him.

What about the Hairy Bikers diet? That's got lots of recipes that are "manly".

I know you really want to help him but I would strongly urge you to let him take the lead in this. He is prefectly able to use the internet to research, download apps and choose what weight loss method he wishes to follow.

You are setting yourself up for months or even years of frustration if you try to get him to lose weight against his will. You will knock yourself out making healthy meals which he won't eat because he's full after three chocolate bars. You will both be angry , he will blame you and it will affect your marriage.

You CANNOT stop him eating junk and snacks. He needs to do this himself. The more responsibility you take for fixing this problem, the less he has.

Please step back and let him do this in his own way when he wants to.

He can research that, I agree. The saying is, "you lose weight in the kitchen, you gain health in the gym".

I would be a snacker when tired or stressed. Find apples great. Hard ones. Need something to really crunch on. I cut them up. Also protein at every meal. And drinking lots of water. Maybe have cold water in fridge with lemon slice or cucumber.

You've never heard of Slimming World and you talk about candy bars...

It sounds like you're not in the UK? So although everything is google-able, references to things like Hairy Bikers might not make sense.

I am very at "cool and manly foods" though? I didn't realise that even food had become fucking gendered. (except Yorker bars I suppose ) I cannot even imagine what is this "girly" food that you're trying to avoid. Whatever it is - I would tell him to get the fuck over himself before I was bothered to help him with weight loss.

Anyway - sounds like he needs therapeutic support on his attitude to eating more than he needs low calorie food suggestions.

We might be able to advise you better if you could list all the girly, uncool and old people foods that you husband wishes to avoid.

< gets popcorn >

Indeed!
I am guessing that soup might be seen as for old people, as it's useful if you don't have teeth.
But in genuine not taking the piss way, I can't think of a single food that someone could call "girly" - except cupcakes, and they're not part of a diet plan anyway...

"Cool and manly"??? Is he 12?

I bet he doesn't eat fruit, does he?

Hahahaha. You can't lose weight for him! What he eats is 100% under his control. Don't let him make you feel as though this is your responsibility. FWIW I have the same issue - a DH who wants to eat sweets an lose weight. Hilarious.

Oh, you could get him a Joe Wicks cook book for him to ignore.

Just writing down everything you eat shows you how much ot really is and encourages you not to eat things if you know they'll be recorded.

Okay. Manly was a word I chose. I was talking about savory dishes. English is not my native language. He never complained about the unmanliness of his food. He has complained about being served "old people food" though.

Examples of things he likes:

Steak
Fried eggs
Chips
Crisps
Potatoes
Fried Bacon
Peanut butter
Chocolate
Cup Cakes
Chili
lasagna
Bananas

Examples of things he doesn't like very much:

Cucumber
Porridge
Salat
Raw tomatoes
Bell peppers
Melon
Alfalfa Sprots
Hummus
Lentils
Most soups

He eats them, but only if you place them right in front of him. If I serve him a salat he will eat it but complain he is hungry afterwards and eat chocolate or crisps.

He doesn't make me feel like it is my responsibility. It is just... he is a good husband, has always been there for me when I needed him.
Now he is clearly unhappy with his weight because it makes him feel bad about himself.
He has got PTSD and some small physical disabilities and it makes him feel unworthy. He is short of hearing, which is not that bad but he just feels like he is a cripple and he feels like he can't change a thing about this.

When it comes to other things he is brave but when it. Ones to his weight he is a bit whiny and you really cannot comfort him. You tell him it is not that bad, out tell him he is not that fat and he is like a broken record.

I thought about it long and hard and came to the conclusion that helping him loose weight was the best thing I can do for him.

A thing about him: he takes a snack wherever he goes. He takes such a running backpack with him when he goes jogging and packs it full with candy bars (or chocolate bars you say, am I right?), crisps, frizzy drinks... and oh, yes, peanut butter and a spoon... because he has the strange habit of eating pure peanut butter.

He takes chocolate bars and a frizzy drink with him when he works out. He constantly snacks on chocolate or crisps or milk shakes when playing video games, so does eat without even looking at the food.

Yesterday I talked with him. He told me it was lovely I wanted to help him loose weight but is not sure if it will work out, but tomorrow I will start serving him the most healthy dishes. He will have breakfast and lunch at his workplace, but I will serve him the most healthful evening meal.

Any advice?

If he takes chocolate, crisps and fizzy drunks with him actually on a run then he needs a therapist, I'm sorry, not diet tips.

Posted too soon! I meant to say - because combining junk food with the actual exercise is like self sabotage and I think he might need a therapist to work out why he is doing that.

He is seeing a therapist (see above), but I am not sure if he discusses this topic.