I'm crying out for a divorce

[Changedname00]

Married to DH for 14 years, together 17. We have 2 DS aged 6 and 8.

Things have not been good for a couple of years but the last 6 months really bad, separate rooms now so living like brother and sister. Tbh there was never a great deal of intimacy before.

But now I want out as I just can't carry on like this as I don't even think I love him anymore and he doesnt tell me so don't think he really does. But I feel trapped because I don't work as it was always the plan for me to be a SAHM and there are zero jobs out there and anything that does come up, about 100 apply for it. I have applied for a few and heard nothing.

How the hell can I end my marriage with no income? I know i will get child and spousal maintenance and the basic of benefits but that's it.

I'm also really worried about telling him I want out, because he seems more then happy living like this, of course he is, he has a housemaid and a childminder!!

Think I just need a hand hold and somebody to tell me everything will be ok.

He won't be happy...and you both need to talk.

Any chance of doing a college course or perhaps some volunteering work to help get back into employment? I think if you can feel better prepared you will find it easier to get a job and enough independence to plan your separation. Are you able to tolerate living together a little longer to get your ducks in a row?

Thanks for the replies.

I did enquire about a college course but the job prospects at the end are very slim as they are making redundancies in that field.

I was going to give it until the end of the summer hols in sept before ending it as I can't keep going on like this.

If your DC are in school you could do some volunteering for work experience.

Lots of places use volunteers, like counselling agencies or the CAB might be able to help.

Don't loose hope and keep applying. Get a CV done and where you don't have actual work experience, you can draw on transferable skills.

When you get to separate bedrooms, it's pretty much over and I don't think you can reasonably expect him to profess loving you in this situation.

How did that decision come about? To sleep separately? Because that's a massive factor in it all.

I doubt this is the marriage either of you dreamed of.

Spousal maintenance is rarely awarded now, and even then only if the other party can afford it i.e. they're a high earner. If he is then could you move anywhere cheaper to make the numbers work?