Children - shit fathers/ OW

[Heebejeebees]

So I've been trying to sort both regular contact and financial support for my 2 kids for well over a year since my ex had an affair.
Contact has been sporadic, tears from kids when he's said he's turning up and then not. Kind of pushed him out by banning contact in my house (he stole things), and the only ever overnight lead to a shifest of issues where I was not ok with their safety.
Ex missed my daughters birthday, party, no gift etc. No contact for a whole month.
I got in contact today as he's not changed his address and the bailiffs turned up. Led to a massive out pouring of 'I miss my babies' 'my heart is broken' I want to move forward etc - I gave him what for, he's a shit selfish father who pays nothing, does nothing etc. I sent him a 'moving forward' email... A list of stuff I think he should do as a good parent. No response.
So.... I sent it to the OW. She replied and said its late but will reply to me tomorrow... Half expecting a reply tomorrow that just skirts around the issues, or a reply that is shocked as she wasn't aware of what he wasn't doing etc... Feel very strange
Waiting! Thoughts?

For background ex has paid nothing in financial support. Ex has been on holiday, bought new motorbike, been to spa hotels etc. He's seen them 3 times in 2 months, and rents a room even though he can afford to rent a flat or house. He spends his money on her, is obsessed / in love. I don't care anymore, but I want my kids happy and settled.

You sound like a hero to me!! But don't expect a lot of support from OW. She probably likes having him running on her schedule, spending his money on her.... but you do sound great.

Thank you mumndad37!

You made me feel good, when I feel shit about this whole situation.

I have alot of things I know about that I've not exploded about but could.

No idea on her agenda. But frankly if you're with someone that has 2 kids, and they never see them, that potentially speaks volumes about her morals. He could be spinning it I won't let him. Not true. I will let him see kids with a schedule and safety in mind given previous incidents.

I just want to move past this whole sorry mess and have a normal share of kids... One weekend on/off. Maintenance etc.

I think if she's even slightly antagonistic, she'll end up hearing all my stored info with full barrels 😳

im sorry OP -you're right he is a shit father - my advice - give up your expectations of wanting anything from him - money or contact - im where you are - my X does the contact but not the financial support - and he uses the contact in anyway he can to undermine me - ie doesn't stick to the agreement on times, "forgets" to tell me things, leaves it to last minute etc to change plans - all cause friction - and won't accommodate any changes i may need. My kids are 16 - thankfully this will all be coming to an end soon but it mucks with their heads. You want your kids to be happy - let him fade into the background - this is the best he can do for them unless he massively steps up to the role of a parent - but from what you have said this seems unlikely. dont bother with OW either - youll get nothing from her! focus on yourself and your kids

Have you put a claim in with the CMS? At least that may help the money situation.

I have no time for people like him - they give everyone an easy stick to beat decent Dads with. I'm sorry he's not stepped up to the plate, but we're not all like him.