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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Soo, this happened last night, I am LTB

17 replies

thebraveandtheconstant · 19/07/2017 19:03

Have a long painful horrible thread , a few months ago, incompetence as an act of aggression. Thing were tolerable for a while but have been slipping down hill.
Last night he went for a drink with his brother. In fairness he's not a drinker, hundreds of quids worth of weed a month, but rarely drinks. Came staggering in the door, in a reasonably good mood. Experience has taught me he gets nasty with little provocation so I got the dcs up to bed, except oldest dc, sixteen, who was watching a movie. I don't know what happened, maybe asshole tried to change TV station bit the next thing the bastard was shouting at DC, I asked him to leave the house and he started verbally abusing me. He threw the TV remote and it smashed on the floor. Called me an ugly pig.

I just looked at the fool and thought fuck you. I have a fought my way to a fantastic career ,despite having five small kids and his shite to deal with. I have lost two stone in weight, got new hair cut etc in the last few months.. I'm no Kate moss but I look younger than my age, try to dress well and have been complimented twice in the last couple of days on my confidence , by two people whom I respect greatly.
This wanker has been bumming off me for years. I have two weeks holidays coming up. I am going to get him to leave, have been to a solicitor about getting him out. Thankfully were not married.

OP posts:
uthredswife · 19/07/2017 19:18

You sound so strong and sure. And he sounds like a complete dead weight.

I'm sure you'll feel a million dollars once you get rid of him.

Best of luckFlowers

thebraveandtheconstant · 19/07/2017 19:24

I have been so stalled, so stuck.. He has weaned himself of his tablets so is utterly intolerable. Amazing how bad he is without them even though his consultant psychiatrist told me he has no mental illness, rather he is a manipulator, whose problems are purely self inflicted.

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CalamityGene · 19/07/2017 19:39

Good for you, fuck him completely. You won't be missing anything.

Groovee · 19/07/2017 19:41

Good for you.

Ditsy1980 · 19/07/2017 19:44

Good for you! Good luck with it and hope it's onwards and upwards for you and DC from here!

thebraveandtheconstant · 19/07/2017 19:45

Not even an apology. I'm a stuck up yoke, an ugly pig, I think I'm better than everyone else.
No pal. I'm just better than you.

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PickAChew · 19/07/2017 19:46

I think I remember your thread.

Keep hold of that anger and resolve to get this waster out of your life Star

Is your 16yo ok after witnessing his outburst?

SerfTerf · 19/07/2017 19:46

Good for you. Stick to your guns.

Desmondo2016 · 19/07/2017 19:53

Go girl :) hugs to your 16 year old. Mind you, my 16 and 18 year olds were more than able to see what a knob their dad had become and were just grateful and pleased for me starting to stand up to him.

TheUpsideDown · 19/07/2017 19:53

He's insecure and threatened by your youthful looks, weight loss, good career, and general success. He knows you're not an ugly pig, he was trying to hit a nerve to make himself feel better. HE is the ugly pig...regardless of what he looks like.

Good for you! Keep that fire in your belly girl

thebraveandtheconstant · 19/07/2017 20:00

Constant accusations of cheating because I have the audacity to go out three times in three months with my girl friends. Nasty jealous prick

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Primadonnagirl · 19/07/2017 20:04

OP I don't know your back story but god I wish I was there to see the look on his face when you kick him out!

QuiteLikely5 · 19/07/2017 20:10

Please stay strong. Why five DC? Was he threatened by you having independence and wanted you at home?

Please don't let your children see him as a role model - they will turn out like him, possibly end up married to someone like him as they will think he is the norm.

Well done on your career and weight loss. Keep up your courage.

He is clearly dysfunctional and will never be healed from that. Highly likely he suffered himself as a child and is now projecting that into you and the children. I hope you have the courage to follow through and get him out. Keep posting on MN for support and advice

43percentburnt · 19/07/2017 20:10

It sounds like you have realised he's a bad egg!

I bet when you kick him out he accuses you of having found another man. He will tell you you are stupid and ugly and no- one will ever want you. But to get a bingo jackpot he has to say you are a bad mum! Listen for that phrase, 'Bad Mum'.

Good luck op.

AUsernameThatNooneHas · 19/07/2017 20:12

You've lost some weight but you need to leave the excess. Get. Rid.

thebraveandtheconstant · 19/07/2017 20:12

Why not five dc? I had my children young and close together, we could afford them we were both working and things werent always this way.

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thebraveandtheconstant · 19/07/2017 20:14

Yeah plan on Shifting 11 and a half stone of excess weight pretty damn quick.
BINGO to the bad mum last night

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