How do you cope with a breakup?

[user1498060624]

Today it's been another struggle. It's been exactly a month and a week since we broke up and I have been trying A LOT to play it cool but the truth is the more the days go back the more I want to die.

It will always kill me how he and his family never really understood who I am and never appreciated me.

I have been doing counselling but its not helping. I tried to work out but I can barely shower these days so I dont care about what I eat or working out.

Today I started having suicidal thoughts after he texted me some things and it was clear to me how much he doesnt like me anymore to the point he even hates me.

I have no network support, no friends to talk, my family is far away and I dont talk to them either because I dont want to upset them. All of my friends have graduated and they are away and I also quit my Ph.D. since I couldnt function so I feel bad about it too. Days go by and all i do is cry and cry until its the night and I sleep.

I know suicidal thoughts are bad so I just booked myself an appointment with the local medical centre to get some medicine. I am also moving back to my home country at the beginning of August so I am hoping things might get better, hopefully.

Sorry for the rant I am just wondering how do you go through a breakup? Did you had a network support? Family, friends etc to talk to everyday and be there net to you physically when you needed a chat and a walk? Do you have children so you keep yourself occupied? Got yourself deep into work maybe?

He has his job and lives with his family and he has his brothers and our puppy so it hasn't affected him at all, plus I don't think he loved me so to him breaking up comes as a relief. I am the one who has been affected massively from this breakup and I dont think he cares anymore. He hates me and is apathetic and the more I realise it the more I want to die...

PLease help me, any thoughts to share? Thanks

I forgot to add my latest attempt to occupy myself was to register on Tinder just to talk to various guys. He of course has set up a profile too, I suspect he had it throughout our relationship but I am not 100% sure.

And I have all these random guys talking to me and they call me a catch etc. but all I want to do is just die or get a pill and forget the pain. Is there a way you can remove all this physical pain from your body? To be the person I was before I loved him?

It's so crap but you will get there.
I'm glad you are going to the medical centre.
Help with your depression will be a good thing.
When you are away from it all it will settle down a bit.
But don't expect miracles.
You won't be over it in 5 weeks!
That's no time at all.
You are doing all the right things but with depression, it's all so much harder.
Get that under control and you can get yourself back.
But it will take time.
Don't listen to anyone who says you should be over it.
It's crap and you get over things at your own pace.

Actually the fact he has registered on tinder already for me would tell me all I needed to know about how 'upset' he is.

You really need to talk to someone - do you not have friends back home you can at least Skype? When stbxh left me many years ago, the ONLY thing that kept me sane was spending time with friends and talking, talking, talking. I didn't go to my family either, I get the not wanting to upset them. It still hurt like nothing else on earth, and I spent a lot of time sobbing my heart out, but slowly slowly getting it got less bad.

You need support right now - go home as soon as you can