he's in tears

[MrsCK]

Dh works hard. Always has. We have similar jobs but childcare has always been an issue if lo is sick as we have no other help. He's basically not pulling his weight with taking time off work to look after lo when sick. Today's answer instead of phoning in to explain why he can't be there tomorrow, was to get my in laws down to stay with us (we don't have a spare room so they are camped out on the sofa) even though we are in the middle of packing for holiday, the house is a state and I'm working 14 hour days. But when I try and talk to him he becomes defensive, says all I do is moan and then kicks off ending in him crying at me.
He can't deal with emotions. Gets angry, flies off the handle, threatens violence (not to me) but is reluctant to seek support.

I'm done with him not seeing our family as a priority

Maybe he feels he would get fired. He solved the problem by roping in the in-laws. Does it matter to you how the problem gets solved?

Maybe I'm just being unreasonable.
We have no food in the house as lo normally in childcare...the in laws arrive at 9 after I've been home for half an hour expecting to be hosted properly... I'm now scrabbling around trying to sort out a food shop for them, somewhere to sleep, all of our packing and trying to cook dinner all at the same time. I'm knackered and he just doesn't think about how his actions impact me.

He would not be fired if he called in tomorrow. He's just being selfish imo (tomorrow is a more social event on his work calendar)

I don't think him flying off the handle or threatening violence is on, at all!

But I'm not sure what he's done wrong in arranging childcare for the sick DC. Surely it's better getting the in laws than taking time off work.

Bit mean giving them the sofa when they're helping you out though!

he solved the problem by NOT solving it himself.. he called in Rellies which added to the problem... made your house cramped and you now have two additional adults in the house sleeping in your front room...

I'd rather have taken the day off than allow this to escalate to such a ridiculous level...

your Husband takes no responsibility for Child Care either .... not good

X post!!
He should be sorting all that stuff out, surely?

He hasn't solved it he's created more problems, tell him to pack his own shit and cook for the in laws! He invited them!

They're his parents - why are you doing all the running around?!

Why is this just his problem? What am I missing?

So I do the sick childcare for 2/3 of the year. He does it for 1/3.

I'm in a grump and gone to bed. We probably should've given them our bed and I slept on the sofa but our room is a tip...the cat pissed under the bed and it stinks, I've been sick over the past few weeks and so let things slide a bit. Them having our bedroom was more work that inevitably I would've had to do.

No it's not in threatening violence. He knows my feelings on that and knows if he hasn't sorted counselling out by Sept then I'm going to give him space.