Meeting guys online for casual sex

[FiftyPoundNote]

Hi,

I'd like to read some people's experiences of hooking up with people online.

I've been messaging a guy I like but I'm feeling a bit apprehensive as he's a stranger and all.

That's how I met my husband.

Was only looking for a shag

I think you'll be very popular if you pursue this line. You are probably most men's dream

Just be careful

Have you had ons before or is it all new? Its better than ons meeting via a club etc.

I wouldnt advertise that's what you are looking for you can cross that bridge when you match, I've done it was I super nervous first time and I was a bit crap but now it's fine. Not something I do often as although I get offers frequently I'm mostly put off by their tone . It's important to tell if the person you will meet will treat you with respect with no undercurrents of mysogyny or looking for a pornstar.

As pp said tell a friend, time place and check in at various points, be safe. I don't drink when I do this also. Although the first time I definetly wanted to but met with a non drinker smoker.

It's not something I've done personally, only been with my bf.
But if one of my good friends go home with someone from a night out or someone they've met online. They send a picture to one of the rest of us, with name and where they are going. Anyone not ok with that they don't go home with.

It's obviously doesn't mean they're completely save, but if they go missing it gives the police a good start.
It was something suggested at a school talk on staying save on nights out kind of thing, we all do it getting into taxis alone too.

No tips on the actual going about it, sorry!

Oh and activate find a friends on your phone and let a trusted friend/family member follow you on it.
And take condoms and insist on using them.

Have you thought about where you will meet up? First time maybe just a cafe or other public place to check they are real/nice/chemistry good. Then maybe still stay with public places and meet in hotels rather than each others houses? I don't do all the 'tell a friend' type stuff but I never meet anywhere other than public places/hotels.

Be careful, you might end up marrying one of them like some of us on here 😂. Be very, very clear that it is strictly sex only ...on second thoughts dont - this will make you their dream woman and conversely they will then want to marry you even more - its a quandary!! 😂

Look up Gabriel Tosti Tinder Date girl over the balcony. Then tell me it's safe. Yes, I could be your grandma talking. Take care out there.

Mollibu

I personally don't see anything wrong with it as long as you're being safe

Genuine question - but how can you really "be safe" with a total stranger - where you have no background context, never met friends of theirs, colleagues etc, know nothing about them.

What would worry me about this would be getting into a bedroom, getting naked and then finding out you were there with a charming plausible psycho who was going to tie you up, beat you and rape you.

I know in one sense plenty of men are able to over power any woman at any time but it's that total lack of opportunity to get any depth of reading on their character before getting naked that would scare me.

But Pitt, women are much more at risk of being raped by someone they know than a stranger, whether that's someone they met online, in a bar, or who attacks them on the street.

NearlyFree - that's not the point. I wouldn't play a statistical odds game on this one personally. Women do get raped by strangers.

And to be honest in this context, I suspect a rape or assault would get not recorded as stranger rape - it would be recorded as a "date rape".

Its a risk, but small, a lot smaller than meeting some guy in a club for a ons where you are both pissed and making risky decisions. Fair enough, if you like to know someone very well first, its not that. You have to trust your instincts a lot imo.

heart and mummys me too

I've done this, quite a few times.

Always trust your instincts, and do everything on your terms. A woman looking for casual sex is highly unusual - so if someone doesn't like your terms you can move onto the next one quickly. You're a rare beast!!

Video chat or talk on the phone or do whatever you are comfortable with. Good guys will want to make you comfortable and want you to feel safe so will do what you want.

Again, good guys will use condoms and/or share STD results.

Good guys will NOT insist on coming straight over - they'll meet you for coffee/a drink whatever it is you want first.

Everyone I've met doing this has been lovely - professional normal guys looking for mutual pleasure and fun. Most I've met out first but I have had people straight over and have never felt unsafe, but I have a good bullshit detector and I tell friends what I'm up to.

If someone seems pushy or weird or 'off' in any way then dump them and move on.

If you don't want to share your phone number you can use an app called 'kik' and you share a username instead.

And unlike a poster upthread I would be honest about what you're looking for - you would expect a man to be after all.

Me too ^

Anyhoo. I would advertise that you only want casual sex. Like people have suggested meet for a coffee and weigh him up. Do make a point of saying you're not after anything serious. Again, it's no different than meeting a man in pub/club and having a ONS.

Big enough risk for me to not even think about it; you could end up dead but I'd not pick up a guy I'd just spoke to for five minutes anyway, too many weirdo's out there nowadays.

nearlyfree which sites do you use???

Was the site FS nearly?

Yep namobamo
chickenwire its called FabSwingers.

The site is a bit tacky, but if you are picky there are some perfectly nice people on there, be prepared to wade through a lot of dick pics though. .

That's the one I have used too.

You get absolutely bombarded with messages but after a while it's pretty easy to quickly delete the weirdos.

I liked that it was upfront. Unlike things like Tinder

Good luck op! Happy to answer any questions

I find it hilarious that FS has a tick list of "interests" which includes things like "anal" "gang bangs" "watersports". I consider myself fairly sex positive but I draw the line at describing specific sex acts as an "interest"

I had a bit of a wild 6 months on tinder after my marriage ended. I met about 10 guys, all but 2 of which I'd happily date/shag again if I found myself single in the future, they were genuinely lovely, polite and sexy guys who I think of fondly especially the Parisian ooh la la!--

The other two weren't serial killers or anything, just the sex wasn't that great and I didn't have much in common with them.

So yeah, I can't see any reason not to go for it if that's what you want