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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How can I leave?

3 replies

Littlebird234 · 18/07/2017 12:18

Been with p for 10 years, 1 dc who is 1. Known p was a liar and cheat for about 5 years but never really had proof and didn't want to believe it so I continued with rose tinted glasses until I was 6 months pregnant and p affair finally came out. He did everything possible to reassure me blah blah and in my hormonal state I believed him and let him stay.

Since then I've found multiple messages on his phone to and from (mainly to) other women. Each time I've asked him to leave, he refuses, I ignore him for a few weeks and I eventually just returns to normal until next time.

I've had a message from a woman this morning telling me he has been messaging her inappropriatly and she has a partner so not interested.

I've had enough and I don't want Ds growing up thinking he can treat women like this. We rent a house together from a friend which I'm reluctant to give up as 1. I don't want to let my friend down as she actually purchased the house specifically for us in an area I need to be in for work, future schools, family support, rent is cheap for the area ect ect. 2. This is DC home which I have worked hard making a home for 2 years before he came along.

P is refusing to leave, I have nowhere to go, no room at any familys house already asked but I'm stuck with no money and the housing benefit waiting list for new claims is 5 months long. I do work part time. I'm just sick of feeling like I'm stuck with this utter bastard who also has a drink and cannabis problem he refuses to acknowledge.

OP posts:
pallasathena · 18/07/2017 12:38

If its your name on the rent book, then you have possession of the property and can evict him. As he's unwilling to go, you need to threaten legal action and follow through by booking a free half hour session with a solicitor who will advise you of your rights.
Don't assume that he has all the power here. He's playing you.

Littlebird234 · 18/07/2017 12:41

Both our names are on the tenancy agreement which runs out in December. He says that he's not leaving Ds, I have no problem with letting him have as much access to Ds as he wants provided he remains sober whilst Ds is in his care. I'm not sure if that's just an excuse to not go- guilt tripping me, again.

OP posts:
Justhadmyhaircut · 18/07/2017 12:43

In December just get the house in your name. Gives him plenty of time to find a place to live.

And gives you time to get your head around sharing dc. . Took me 2 years to leave knowing this. .

Sort your finances out in the meantime too.

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