Anyone cut ties with they're sibling?

[yesorno38]

Ive NC for this post..I have mentioned before but feel starting again is easier.
Today I'm feeling not only wound up but upset at my sisters lack of..well that's what I'm here to ask.

Years ago my dad disowned me for having a baby at 17..he cut me off from all of my family inc my 2 siblings. It was years after I got back in touch and we see each other rarely.

My brother is easy going and I chat to him a lot. My sister I feel is totally in her own little world, pretty dramatic and spends 90% of her time with her dp..I have no problem with this but whenever I suggest meeting or doing something there is always an issue with it. If I go quiet I get the 'are you alive' messages.
I used to think it was me until a group chat was set up for my birthday and all my friends mentioned to me afterwards saying how difficult she was.

Anyway over the years she's had a great relationship with my dad. I haven't got a problem with that either, I think it's his loss he doesn't see his grandkids and that's that. I've tried taking to her about how I felt I suffered and how my children do with no granddad but she says she wants to keep out of it.

We arranged a trip away..usual farce as it is but now it's looking like I'll have to get there on my own..7hr trip and my cars a bit temperamental and I knew she had a spare seat so asked if I could join them..I got a vague 'spose so' this led onto the fact that they've arranged to do bits so I'll have to do them. I've had a rubbish morning and am pushed for money so I mentioned that I wasn't being difficult but how much would it all be. She's told me to 'get a new job'..hardly that easy and it's turned into a bit of an argument.

I just find her very awkward..self centred and blunt. I feel guilty for wanting to not even want to talk to her at times due to not seeing her for years but wonder why when all it causes is stress and upset.

Didn't want to leave your post unanswered.

I have two siblings I'm not in touch with. They bullied me throughout childhood, have had ample opportunities to move on from the past in a more positive and mature manner, and have blown it in every way and on every occasion. I have 'formally' been NC with them since going NC with our mother, but saw very little of them for many years before that. I have other siblings I still see.

My situation sounds different from yours, except to say that for both of us the real problem seems to have been a parent whose actions have had repercussions down the years. But you sound rather closer to your sister than I ever remember being with my NC siblings (trips away, etc). You also seem to get on with your brother. Does he get on with both of you, or does he feel the same about her? It can be complex to be in contact with a family member who is in contact with a family member that you are NC with, particularly if there’s a parent in the background with whom everyone's relationship is different. I wonder if all three of you siblings should get together and try and talk about the past before you make a definite decision. One of the problems with dysfunctional families is that a parent can keep everyone at arm's length from each other, which facilitates secrets and lies.

Balancing that, though, I will add that there is a deep-seated sense of failure that comes with broken down family relations, which can make it tempting to keep flogging a dead horse by giving it another try, another chance, being the bigger person, etc. There is also a sentimentality attached to shared personal history that can be difficult to let go of. All of this is made harder by people who tell you things like, blood's thicker than water, you only get one family, etc, or make it clear they think you're an awful person for not swallowing your feelings in order to maintain family relations at any cost. Often this comes from people who have no clue how awful it is to be part of a very dysfunctional family, but equally often it comes from people who are actively avoiding confronting the same problems in their own family that they are urging you to ignore in your own.

So if you feel that the stress and upset is draining and undermining every other aspect of your life, which is what I came to feel, then recognising that and walking away from something that you'll never be able to improve is not something you should feel bad or guilty about, imo. Going NC with my family members is the best decision I ever made, and enabled me to regain and repair my dignity and sense of self.

for you.

I cut contact with parents, and the siblings cut contact with me. It's easier for them if they just forget I existed, and carry on living in their own little bubble of nastiness.

TBH, whilst I was upset at first, I realised, through going over old events, that they never cared about me in the first place.

My mental health is a million times better since going NC. Everything about life is. Yes I get moments where I think about how nice it would be to have grandparents and aunts and uncles. But I am thinking about how nice it would be in a normal situation, where the family is nice for starters

Do what is right for you and your family. Don't be beholding to anyone just because they are related to you by blood.

Good luck xx

Im NC with 4 of my siblings. It's very liberating and life is so much better. I don't miss them and will probably hear on the grapevine when one of them shuffles off. I will not be going to any of their funerals either. They are already dead to me.

I have a much older sister (14years) who got married when i was 5, so i didn't grow up with her.
We haven't fallen out but I have nothing in common with her. I've seen her twice in twenty years and spoken to her about half a dozen times.No idea how I would feel when she dies or whether i would go to her funeral

I'm NC with my 'D'sis, been so for 13 months. She's just not very nice. Cut her and my equally 'D'M off after a big row.

I cut my brother off.

Final straw was when he emptied my bank account 3 days before Christmas.

I still feel a bit sick when I think of that.

He is a cunt personified and I have cut him dead.

Not nice to hear others don't speak but makes me feel a little better for how I feel.

My sisters never been really family orientated. Never bothered with my children and has made it clear she will never have any. To be honest if she did I'd be massively shocked but she does have a knack of going from very extreme opinions to changing her mind which is allowed of course but odd.

I'd say we get on individually better. My brother would agree with my opinion of her but does get along with her. My dad treated him similar when he was younger, he made himself homeless and tbh I think he takes what he can get for the company at times. He's down to earth and easy going like me..shame she isn't the same.

We had a rubbish upbringing and I've tried before to talk over family issues but she won't. She's very opinionated as I've said and I can't seem to even drum any of my feelings into her. As I said in her own little bubble and sees life very different to me.

Shame but reading someone's post about how many times they'd seen their sibling made me think that in the last 6 months I've probably seen her 3 times and that's always me going to her. She always lets me down and tbh I'm fed up of it all.