12 weeks scan alone

[DooWhaaDiddy]

I'm on my way to my 12 week scan, H left two months ago and had been stringing me along since. He says he wants to be with me but can just come back to make me feel better. I need to go no contact with him as much as I can (we have a DS 4). The last two months have been horrendous and I'm worried what the stress will have caused, I've already had two large bleeds and a large clot loss. I've also met really been looking after myself, only just managing to get DS fed and watered and off the play school each day.

I'm signed off sick and also having to deal with SS (because of DV towards me) and just can't take much more mind games. I need to get some control and dignity back. If H wanted to be with me than he would and wouldn't be putting me through this pain. I need to grow a pair and say no more and I going to be treated like this, hence the no contact a much as I can.

Anyway, I'm off to my scan on my own and just hope all is ok. Not even sure if H will ask, and if he does I may not even respond (considering he said he didn't care if I kept the baby or now)

Beatbox of luck. Hopefully all will be well but after this scan I think you need to sit down and make plans for how to move forwards without him. It sounds like he is a liability to your health and wellbeing and a serious danger to your child. If SS are involved you need to make absolutely sure you don't have him in your life and home when the baby arrives for its sake and ultimately your sake.

First though, the scan and your baby. Hang in there and don't be afraid to speak to the midwives for support.

Your H sounds absolutely horrible. Well done for getting such a nasty person out of you and your children's lives as much as you can. Managing to get DS to preschool, fed cared and looked after when you are having a difficult pregnancy and you are on your own is amazing too.

I wish you the best of luck today and I will be thinking of you. I hope you see your new baby and think of a happy future with just the three of you together, because you have earned it.

Thinking of you and hope it all goes well today, and the future.

Do you have anyone else in your support network to help you out and talk to? Mother, siblings, friends, etc? Do they know about the DV?

You are right that you should go as NC as possible with H as you need to focus on your own health. You will be okay, just focus on the positives for now (even if they seem like they are a long way off).

I hope all goes well for you. Be brave!

Thanks everyone. Sitting here waiting to be seen. I've done a few practical things like applied for some financial help....I do have family to talk to but they are not close and I don't drive. I wish H would just stop messing me around. Well, I can't control him but I can control me (most of the time). I've not been able to focus on any of theirs pregnancy. It's all bitter sweet. I feel a bit in limbo but that's because I'm waiting on him and I need to stop that. Thanks again