Feeling unwanted.

[unwantedwoman]

Well as the title says. Feeling totally unwanted by partner. Not had sex in 2 months before that it was 5 weeks, despite me trying to initiate it. Barely wants to cuddle me, shows little to no affection.

Nothing has changed dramatically between us. But it seems like I've just hit a realisation that this has been going downhill for a while. I'm in my mid 20's, young child (SAHM) and unwanted by my partner of 7 years.

I love him but don't think he feels the same way anymore. He certainly doesn't find me attractive anymore - I haven't changed, but I guess he has.

Not sure why I'm posting. Feeling down I suppose.

Without wishing to suggest the obvious, have you actually tried talking to him about how you feel?

Sorry you are going through this

He gets defensive and grumpy if I even suggest that everything isn't sweetness and light.

I think you need to get past his feelings of being on the defence & being grumpy and put yourself first.

For whatever reason, he's making you feel crap, his behaviour isn't normal & needs to be confronted.

If after 7 years, he's bored or has issues with your relationship he needs to tell you. I don't think doing nothing here, is an option

Has anything changed health wise or circumstances for either of you beyond time elapsing?

If he gets defensive and grumpy because you want to discuss things then I think you need to lay it on the line. He cannot just put his head in the sand - you have needs and you need to talk about the relationship. You need to tell him it is very serious.

I just want to be wanted and appreciated, that's all

Of course you want to feel wanted and appreciated but nothing will change if you don't make clear what you need. You need to ask why he has been rejecting your sexual advances - is he tired/depressed/feeling overwhelmed by responsibility?

What could he do to make you feel wanted? - touch you more often, a hug everyday, praise, do the dishes - he may need you to spell it out. A lot of people rate this idea (but I got equal scores in 4 types)
www.5lovelanguages.com/

Relationships do go through "fallow" periods and can rebound but if you are instinctively worried about the lack of affection then I would listen to that instinct and try to find out what is at its root.