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Original poster

is that normal when gaming?

18 replies

user1494189248 · 18/07/2017 02:42

I feel a bit silly making this post but it really has affected me. My DP is on his 30 and likes playing computer games. He asked me to play with him which i found fun at start but now it has become a nightmare. He will mock anything i do , he will tell me how bad i am etc. I mean its a game and i dont care but why the need for constant mocking .... If i do something wrong or even if he does something wrong he will get mad and upset and quit the game telling me that i had it my way and i won and i made him hate it. Generally anything that goes wrong its my fault. When i try to say that its only a game and its not like our life depends on it he gets upset, he finds it insulting. Is that supposed to be normal ?

OP posts:
ScouseBird8364 · 18/07/2017 02:50

Childish behaviour on his part, I would give him an ultimatum, he's 30 ffs, not 9! Hmm

Original poster
user1494189248 · 18/07/2017 02:57

ScouseBird8364 I tried to tell him that making a mountain out of a game and making it as a real life issue is childish but he gets very angry every time i even imply that he is acting immature for any issue

OP posts:
OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 18/07/2017 03:31

Mardy arsed twat! Does he like his own way elsewhere?

Supermagicsmile · 18/07/2017 03:38

I used to date a gamer and yes this all sounds very familiar. His life was very focused around gaming and that was his main priority. He used to interact with other gamers using a headset and they were constantly so rude to each other Hmm mocking and insults which sounds like that is how your partner is with you.
He gamed all their free time and went to LANs 4 times a year where they meet up with their gaming friends and all game together. It wasn't for me but I know exactly how you feel and can relate to what you describe. He he was in a game I couldn't even talk to him without being sworn at or told to F off as he couldn't he interuppted.

Foniks · 18/07/2017 04:03

It's not normal! Neither is being told to fuck off like Supermagic ex did. Wow.
I know some gamers, get way too into their games, yes, but they don't then use that as a reason to disrespect their partners. I even know some who go to these gamers events and tournaments, or meetups with other gamers, and they don't disrespect their partners.
It's a disrespectful man thing, not a gamer thing. I only knew one like that, and obviously he's single now and finds it hard to keep a relationship.

Mocking and saying you're bad at the game can be banter sometimes, but not when it's blatantly upsetting somebody.

Either way, I doubt this will change. Just stop playing with him, and tell him why. Tell him you'd prefer to game with people less childish and more considerate.

BunnyBardot · 18/07/2017 04:25

I do think that if he is gaming that much and taking it that seriously at 30 years old he is too immature to be in a relationship. My husband used to play games as a teenager like most boys, but again like most boys, he stopped as he became busy with work, friends and responsibilities. He hasn't played games since I've known him. Similar story with my 2 brothers. Why is your DP taking it so seriously? Has he got any hobbies in real life?

yourerubberimglue · 18/07/2017 04:50

My brothers do this ( I've never played and they have for years so ofc I'm shit) but they're under 18 . He's being a child

GoldilocksAndTheThreePears · 18/07/2017 05:19

I game a lot and that's an attitude i see in some games, less in others. Competitive games bring out some terrible attitudes. Which game is it? I can't be doing with some people I've met, even in PvE (player v enemy) it can get bad! I've been kicked from raids for not being perfect and in one case for daring to be female. PvP (player v player) can be tons worse though.

But saying that, I've met many many calm, normal players. Even in PvP. Who may swear or be annoyed on losing but not at each other, and not mocking. That isn't a all-gamer thing, it's a personal thing.

category12 · 18/07/2017 05:46

I would stop gaming with him. I would probably stop having a relationship with him too, what a nob.

category12 · 18/07/2017 05:46

I would stop gaming with him. I would probably stop having a relationship with him too, what a nob.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 18/07/2017 07:19

Just to add when my sons started showing this type of behaviour we confiscated their PlayStation until they learnt how to play nice. They were about 12 though. Not so attractive in a grown man.

Barbaro · 18/07/2017 08:11

Nah not right. My boyfriend is a gamer and sometimes I play games with him but he doesn't mock me, he shows me what to do and we just laugh when I still screw it up, which is all the time.

A guy who is insulting to you and shouts at you just isn't worth it.

ASatisfyingThump · 19/07/2017 21:15

He's being a dick - it's not the gaming that's immature, it's his attitude. He wants to play against you because you don't play, so he thinks he can win. It's nothing more than an ego boost for him, and he gets pissy when his little plan fails. Just don't play. Or practice when he's not around and get really good then kick his butt, because he can't be that good if he needs to belittle you to feel like the big man. People like him give gamers a bad name Angry

gamerchick · 19/07/2017 21:20

Not normal. Both me and my husband are gamers and we play nice. I wouldn't play with anyone who rage quits often. Tedious and tiresum.

BroomstickOfLove · 19/07/2017 21:22

DP is playing a game at the moment. I am not really into it, but play occasionally, and he tells me how to make my character better at smithing and gives me tips on how to defeat the scary monsters.

Emboo19 · 19/07/2017 21:25

I sometimes play with my boyfriend and he never does this with me. We play for something a bit different to do and a bit of a laugh.
I do notice if he's playing his mates or brothers either at the house or online, there's some teasing/mocking/name calling and lots of swearing.

I wouldn't play with him anymore OP and I'd consider if I even wanted a relationship with him.

ShesABloodyLoon · 19/07/2017 21:37

Not normal. My DH one yelled nastily at me because I interrupted his game. I hadn't actually said anything. I came in to our living room room and he had thought I wanted to speak to him. I hadn't.

I shut the house sockets off at the circuit breaker and pulled the fuse out.

We've been together for 14 years and he's never spoken to me like that before and after shutting the electricity off, he never has again.

I game, as do all our kids and we all can get frustrated and annoyed but it is NOT acceptable to have a go at others.

ShesABloodyLoon · 19/07/2017 21:40

But my 5 year old DS's game "smack talk" top notch. We could listen to him berating the characters he's beating all day long. It's so cute it's funny.

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