Found out he's been in a relationship for the last 8 months I've been seeing him. What do I do!?

[Mrspotatohead18]

Long story short, I've put threads on here before about a complete twat who won't commit blah blah blah. Anyway, I'm a complete arsehole and keep
Getting sucked in. Today I had a strange gut instinct and decided to delve into like a stalker and lo and behold I found he's been in a relationship (with his ex before me) since December last year. I have proof of everything, I'm currently coaxing things out of him while he's drunk because I feel like I need any bit of proof I can get. My question is, when I confront him (which I will in person) I'm not sure about what to do about the girlfriend. I'm not spiteful, she knows as much as I do - but do I tell her? Tell him if he doesn't I will? Or leave him to it? Just to add- the threads are a few months ago, I caved in the meantime and we ended up seeing eachother again. He's away with his mate abroad at the minute so I have a few days to work out what I'm going to do. He told me he loves me about an hour ago, so is still lying through his fucking massive teeth 😁

Please excuse my ramblings. I positively effing raging right now!

When you say he won’t commit what do you actually mean? Was it and on/off thing?
Personally I think you should cut him off entirely and avoid getting sucked in again.
As for the gf I don’t think there’s anything to be gained from telling her unless your motive is to have him for yourself.
If I was in your shoes i would be trying to regain some dignity and cut off all forms of contact with this person and let him and his gf get on with it.

It doesn't matter. You have proof. You don't trust him. Time to bin him for someone better.

She clearly isn't his ex before you then, is she - she is his long term gf and you are another woman he keeps on the side?
You aren't going to ever get more of him than you have now, and it doesn't sound as if that is worth much tbh, so dump him and let him know why.

Tell him to fuck off. If you had any friends in common with gf then I'd let her know, but otherwise let it lie.

But basically just inform him that the relationship, such as it was, is now over.

I'm sorry, just to clarify, I'm going to the other side of the world next year (recent decision before I found out and months after him 'confirming' his relationship), this isn't about keeping him/wanting him. My main thoughts are about his girlfriend - do I tell her? Make him tell her? This isn't about me being spiteful, I'm sure she is as clueless as I was! I just don't know if I should leave her blissfully unaware or let her know what a cunt her boyfriend is?

Athena- I have previous posts about him; I don't believe they were back together before the end of last year as me and him went abroad in may. I always knew he was no good for me, but kidded myself like a fool. But never thought he was capable of this! Obviously I'm a tit head aside from being fucking livid and angry and hurt, I've decided to approach him in person after he gets home so he can't shit himself and lie. I've just never been in this position am unsure how to go about it!

Thanks for everyone replying, sorry for the previous rambles I was raging!

Winifred - after I found out it turns out he's blocked all of my friends and family on Facebook (I'm not on social media!)... snidy fucker eh?!

I think you should tell her. If she'd found out first, wouldn't you want her to have told you?

Is he definitely abroad with mates or is he with his gf ?

Either way I'd dump him and I would tell his gf.

No he is definitely abroad with his mate, I know that for sure. Yes I would want to know - and like I said I've gone on a screen shot spree and the odds are against the fucker in plain black and white. I just never imagined it would come to this. I feel as shit for her as I do myself. He's texting me as I'm typing.

Firstly you need to stop seeing him. It's a horrible situation and knowone wants to unknowingly be the other women but now you know the situation it's time to put it to an end for your own dignity and also to be a girls girl who his girlfriend.

I think you should tell her but it depends how you honestly feel about her. Do it in a genuine not nasty way x

I don't think she'll believe you, or even want to believe you.

I would tell her. You'll get a lot if people saying It's best to keep out of it but fuck that I'd much rather know - wouldn't you?

Tell her. I'm assuming you're not staying with his cheating arse, she deserves the same facts so she can decide for herself too. I think the world would be a much better place if more ppl were honest about things like this, and didn't let the cheating bastards get away with it.

You should tell her op. Just quietly. Tell her you didn't know about her, that he has been playing you both and you are dumping him. What she then does is up to her and I would leave her to it. What a shit... wonder if he is cheating on you both while abroad.

Thenaze73 - that's what I'm worried about, and obviously it's her choice whether she stays with him but I fear that she's gona see me as a shit stirrer if I do tell her.

If it was her who found out I would want to know, and I don't want her to find out down the line and be under the impression that I actively participated in his cheating.

My head is battered

And I'm obviously not going near him again. But I want to confront him in person about it so he can't block and run. He doesn't have a clue that I know anything yet