Anyone from the old Turning Tavern threads willing to share their wisdom?

[Feelfrantic]

Found the old Turning Tavern threads through a google search and wondered if anyone was still around who might be able to make me feel that I'm not losing the plot....
Long story short, I'm a woman currently in a heterosexual marriage of 20 plus years who has had her world blown apart by falling in love with a friend. ( I'm married to a kind, loving man who is a brilliant father to our three teenage children - our marriage is a separate issue which I will need to deal with in due course but this isn't the reason for my post. I am obviously hugely concerned about the potential fall out from this .)
However what I am really confused about is that how I have managed the first 40 years of my life with zero interest in women. I still don't have any interest in women - that much hasn't changed with the very large exception of this one. I've asked myself if I could have been repressing feelings but hand on heart it simply hasn't been like that. So what is going on?
If anyone can enlighten me, I would be so interested in hearing your views. I feel confused, nervous and strangely excited about life and have no-one to share this with.
Thank you.

Bump... just in case anyone's out there... thanks.

I was on the original threads.

First off, are you happily married?

I can't speak from experience, however, my sister has been through exactly this. She's been with her new DP for over 3 years now & is very happy. There was a major fallout when she decided to leave her marriage for the OW. Her exH went crazy with rage, and behaved very badly. Her adult DCS were extremely upset and shocked. 3 of them wanted nothing to do with her & one of them struggled but didn't turn against her. 3 years later, things are calmer but she's suffered a lot of heartache and been on an emotional rollercoaster, to say the least. The 3 DCS mentioned above, have recently softened towards her but are still refusing to meet her DP, which she finds very difficult to deal with. Her exH has managed to cope, but it was a devastating period of his life. I imagine things will slowly continue to progress and hopefully everyone will eventually be properly accepting of the situation. As her DS, I was completely blindsided, but was never once unsupportive. I did struggle a bit, but I wanted to be there for her if she needed me & my DM was the same. My intention isn't to put a negative slant on things but to give you a little insight. My DS told me that she never had any interest in being with a woman and isn't sure if she will again if this relationship ends, but she's the happiest she's ever been & her DP is a very kind & caring person.

I care for my husband and am very fond of him. However, over time I have become aware that our needs are diverging and that this has implications for our marriage. We have talked about this and have tried to address this but I suspect the bridge is now too wide. What has happened recently has only served to illustrate that we cannot continue as we are.

Thank you Want2beme. I appreciate your comments. My eyes are wide open with regards to the potential fallout - we have three children and I'm terrified for them. Life is hard enough.
Saying this - I cannot go on like this and do need to make some difficult decisions. My DH deserves honesty and the freedom to move on.
I still cannot believe that this is happening really but this doesn't feel like a midlife crisis. It feels like I have fallen in love properly for the first time in my life.

I'm really more interested in whether suddenly falling in love with someone of the same gender is more common than is talked about. It is still throwing me a little.

It is common, yes. I think more so for women.