I'm nearly 32 (two weeks) and I seemed to have messed up everything so far in my life.
I wasted my twenties by being obsessed with my career. I like my job now, but while everyone is marrying the people they met at uni and in their twenties, the most people I meet in 'real life' are older and married. I'm in a very male dominated environment at work, but still havent been one of the women who have met someone decent at work.
When focusing on my career, I barely travelled much and so have all these places I would like to see, but nobody to see them with. I have been on dates recently (after a horrible experience with a man who was very much not separated as he told me he was), and some men are lovely but I just feel nothing.
I have two friends who are single and they love going out. I sometimes go with them, but it really isn't my scene at all. I used to enjoy a night out, but now I would love nothing more than a stable relationship and a night in watched tv together.
Not sure why I am posting really. I think there must be something wrong with me to be in the 5 percent of people I know who isn't in a relationship or married with a family. I feel as if my life is just a dull waiting game, and it just wont happen for me - even when I meet someone nice I dont care about meeting them again.
It feels to me that I will never love or be loved again, and if i want a relationship maybe i just need to fake it a little and just settle for the companionship. I have dated so much and I talk to a lot of people, there's just never a spark on my side.Not sure why I am posting. Just feel miserable today.