Hi All,
I have joined this forum after lot of contemplation. I was desperate to share my situation with someone. I didn't share it with my parents as I don't want them to worry, and haven't told any of my friends because I don't want them to judge my husband (Yeah, I love him!)
My husband and I got married almost 9 years ago and we used to love each other a lot. We used to travel a lot, eat out a lot, watch a lot of movies and talk a lot. My husband has always been a bit impatient towards me, he gets irritated very often(You can call him moody, nothing aggressive!) but it used to upset me a lot. In turn I used to shout and scream and tell him that he can't get irritated at me for anything and everything but he never changed. 9 years down the line he has only gone worse. He gets irritated/snaps at me for everything.
During the last 9 years, many things happened that only put more pressure on our relationship
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His mother bullies me. He knows it but never accepts it. She says all the mean things about me but he asks me to ignore them however when I bitch about my MIL to him, he gets very aggressive and says that they are his parents and he loves them, which means that he is indirectly telling me that he doesn't care about me but only about his parents
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I used to leave cards, love letters , small presents for him around the house but he never really reacted in a way that he appreciates me , so I felt discouraged and stopped doing it. He has never done anything romantic for me
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He never pays me any compliments, buys me any presents or any flowers. Everything is a formality for him. He just gives me a card and says 'your budget for this birthday is £50, go and buy what ever you want'. I feel so cheap and unappreciated.
when I buy something for him, it usually goes unused and he doesn't show any interest.
Note: When a guy pays compliment to me (colleague or someone else), it makes my day! however my husband feels super jealous but he himself would never pay me a compliment. The other day I bought a rose for myself because I felt that I shouldn't wait for someone else to buy me flowers 
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He keeps critiquing me for everything that I do. literally EVERYTHING! 'You haven't folded the hand towel properly, you haven't something properly'. It feels that when I do something, he forgets about the 99% of the things that go right but only criticises the 1% of the things that didn't go right
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We haven't had sex for almost 3 years now. I feel so detached now that I don't feel like having sex with him. I feel that for me- sex is about being emotionally attached too. I want him to respect me and love me more and it will transition to sex in the bedroom.
Also when we used to have sex before, he never cared for my needs.NEVER.
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We had a baby 1 year ago (via IVF) and it has changed him completely. He loves loves loves the baby and an amazing father, however it has brought more distance between us. More than before, now everything is my fault, if the baby doesn't eat- it's fault with the food that I made etc. He has never made me feel good or mentioned the fact that I went through 3 cycles of IVF for our baby and did so much. You know, one word of affection and paying compliment would melt me completely but No...Nothing positive comes out of his mouth.
All you guys must be thinking that communication with him may improve things. Trust me, it didn't work. I have tried in every way, he just thinks that I am nagging and there has been no change.
I think that I am living in this relationship for my baby. Will it affect him? After growing up, he will be able to see that his parents relationship is not normal. we don't say 'I love you'. kiss each other or hug each other.
My husband other wise is a good person, cooks amazing food, very tidy, responsible and earns well.
Please tell me what to do?
Shall I leave him?
Or just suck it up and continue to live with him for the sake of my baby, and forget about being loved, respected, being kissed or hugged?
Note: I WANT A HUG