Ex and pregnancy

[newnamechange84]

I've posted on here about six weeks ago, so I'm not sure if anyone will remember. I'd sent my OH packing over messages sent to another woman whom he said were nothing more than friendly. I was a bitch and I did try to make his life hell after what I thought he'd done but I was in a really bad place and having showed people the messages, even on here, it was agreed I was doing the right thing after what it appeared he had done. Two weeks ago we started texting again and met up, ex said that he still loved me and missed me but that he couldn't come back after everything that had happened. We met up one more time but since that point he's nigh in blanked me despite me nearly begging for him to come back and us arguing. I still love him and wonder if I did the right thing. Anyway, I've just found out I'm pregnant. Obviously very early, 4 weeks, but I am in a hell of a state. I don't know what to do, ex says he doesn't want a baby at all, which I have always known, I didn't either until now. Now I feel that it's my only way of hanging onto a piece of what we had especially given my huge regrets about letting him go. But I have three children already, two with additional needs, and minimal space in my house. My heart feels broken and I want ex back but I know he won't. I don't particularly want to be a LP to four children, especially when I've just started to get a bit of my life back. My youngest DD goes to school in September. I'm meant to be writing my dissertation which I've already had an extension on due to problems with me and ex, and now this. It's due mid August and I'm still nowhere near finishing it. I just need so straight thinking advice because at the moment I'm thinking with my heart and nothing else.

Nobody can really advise you what to do. It's your body and your life. All I know is that you can talk through your options here and nobody will judge you at all. However I would say you can't have a baby just to maintain a relationship of sorts with your ex. You're already a mum so you know this

If you don't want to be a lone parent of 4 children, I know what I'd do. I was in a similar situation (though I would have had 3 children not 4) and knew I didn't want to do it alone. I never thought I could have a termination but I did and I've never regretted it. It was the best thing for me and the children I already had.

I think if you are only wanting the baby to keep him around, that's the wrong reason to have a child. Sorry I know it's a difficult position for you but he doesn't want to be with you. You have to accept that.

If it were me I would get rid of it pronto.
However, only you can decide.

Would you have the pregnancy and give the child up for adoption? Just another thought. Sorry you're going through this. Being a LP to 4 children wouldn't be easy, but not impossible if you really wanted to keep the child.

Something else to consider is that you will not get additional tax credits for this baby.( always assuming you might be claiming benefits at some point after completing your degree.)

You're desperate and clearly not thinking straight. This pregnancy shouldn't be bait to hook a reluctant man, especially to a dick.

You don't want a child, you want something to keep you attached to your ex-not a good idea & certainly the wrong reason to continue with the pregnancy.

Truly terrible reason to bring a child into the world.

Have a really hard think about this before having a baby. It's forever and you'll be tied to a man forever who doesn't want the child.

Having his baby isn't going to make him want you, as harsh as that sounds. It will probably make you feel ten times worse especially going through the pregnancy alone whilst having to look after the children you already have.

Totally your choice, but this will affect the three children you already have, so take that into account too.

And personally I wouldn't be too happy bringing a child into the world with a reluctant father. The father of my dd is an arse but at least he wanted her.

Thanks everyone. Until this morning I'd decided to keep it. I've woken up and rung my close auntie, only 12 years older, and had a good chat. I can't have another baby. It's not good for anyone. I'll be posting in pregnancy choices now to get some advice.