:( long but please help

[Dlah]

About 5 hours ago my life was pretty darn great, a partner of over 2 years, a beautiful 8 month old baby smiling away at me ready to go sleep, a new house, enjoying maternity & life.

Queue trying to get my daughter down, when my slightly drunk partner gave me his phone to play a lullaby from (one particular one she likes) I don't know why or what as I haven't done it before but I decided to look through his phone, after a few minutes I was about to stop thinking youMbe just proved you're being silly - all incident messages from family & friends, when I spotted Facebook messenger.
I opened it to see just 1 female - and the messages I didn't ever expect to read "I miss being in your arms and kissing you".

Now I've been cheated on in the past but I genuinely believed my partner would never be that person, he knew all my past shit. I calmly walked downstairs and asked him who she was/was he cheating, queue a drunken if not honest reply 'yes for a few weeks'. Gutted

I leave the house with the baby to recoup, got my sister to come have her so no involment, return and calmly ask for information. Bare in mind we've not been intimate since mid pregnancy due to his own feelings, and then after due to some personal issues, baby now 8mths so over a year

He's adamant (and tbf she confirmed) they have only met twice, only kissed never had sex and he just enjoyed the attention. Attention which I've tried to pay him and he wasn't interested in, attention I stopped trying on him for feeling so rejected each time. He's adamant it's not because of her purely his physical problems currently experiencing.

So let's say it was "just" 2 kisses, what do I do? Draw a line, finish it, I'm so torn :(

Oh op. I'm so sorry. Is there any way you could get him to leave for a while. you need adequate space to think this all through.

I'm sorry this has happened. You need some space but basically he is not a good guy, and he cannot be trusted no matter how 'sorry' he says he is. You have been together for such a short time and have so many problems already I think you would be better aiming for a future not tied to him beyond his role as your dd's father. I'm sure that's not what you want to hear but it's the straight answer.

I think that the most important thing you can do right now is to take the time to think about what you want and whether it's even possible to rebuild your relationship if you decide to continue with it. Also, to find out whether he wants to continue, or whether he thinks it's over between you. And to do that, you need space. Whose house is it? Could one of you stay somewhere else for a while?

Just hugs to you OP, not sure I have anything more practical than that to add.

Can't not respond. How awful for you. Where is he now?

Thanks guys,

He slept on sofa last night, I also called his mum, didn't see why I should be feeling so crap and he should have it swept under carpet. She was just as hurt and upset.

He's very apologetic, says it was just stupid attention nothing more.

Today is going to be a lot of talking and just see what happens

It's likely he's minimising what happened. "I miss being in your arms and kissing" sounds to me like there was more. You don't miss people after two kisses.

So sorry to read this. I feel your pain. My approach would be to try and get to the bottom of what really happened and why, where his head is atto cheat, then maybe look at therapy together to help re build trust (if he's willing). But I would need space for a bit to try and clear my thoughts.

Oh OP, I'm so sorry. What a shit

I'm guessing by your timeline you weren't together very long before you ended up pregnant. I'm not judging I was in a similar situation when I was 21. The problem I had was I didn't have a clue what he was truly capable of and I utilmately found out he had been having an affair with his ex gf. Those aren't the type of messages you send to someone you've kissed twice this runs deeper than that.