Really like him but he's had a vasectomy

[Lipsy21]

I'm 30, 31 in a few months. I don't have kids but love mumsnet relationship forum(sad I know).
Got out of a very bad relationship, possibly sociopathic, this year.
Met someone unexpectedly, who is 34, fancy the pants off him. He is such a nice guy. He was married before, has kids and he decided to get a vasectomy a few years ago as he thought he was settled for life. His ex wife cheated on him over a long period and now lives with the guy.

I told him I do want kids in the near future. He was very honest about the V and said he could have it reversed if we cross that bridge. I don't know what to do as we realy like each other. It's quite sad actually.

Anyone been in similar situation?

I think you need to be really really sure about what he wants.

I had a very similar situation - he'd had a vasectomy but was prepared to get it reversed or have IVF etc. We were in love, got engaged, bought a house - life was good. He went to his GP, got a referral to a specialist about having a reversal, but it clashed with our holiday so he cancelled it and planned to reschedule when we got home. Except he never did. I didn't nag because I didn't want to push him, and I knew it was going to be a painful procedure and so on. Life went on, time went by, eventually we talked, and he'd changed his mind about having more kids after all. We split then, and it was heartbreaking for both of us. This may sound harsh but I wish I'd never met him. We felt like soul mates, but I'd happily have sacrificed the happy times for the misery of the break up and the loss of my fertile years.

A friend also fell in love with a man who'd had a vasectomy. He actually did have his revered, but then made excuses to never have sex with her again! So obviously they spilt too, but not until most of her 30s had passed.

My advice would be to talk talk and talk some more, to establish why he had a vasectomy so young, can he really imagine doing the baby stuff again etc. And whatever you do, don't move in together until he's actually had the surgery.

Go for it. You could meet and fall in love with anyone and they could be irreversibly sterile. Intense connections do not come along very often in my experience.

He wants you, not more kids. Trust me on this.
Don't make him choose.

My husband has two kids from his first marriage and had a vasectomy 14 years ago. We discussed children on our first proper date, in as much as he wanted me to know that he'd potentially be open to the idea of having a child and he didn't want the fact he'd had a vasectomy to put me off. We ended up having DS via ICSI with surgical sperm retrieval rather than going for a reversal.