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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

husband growing pot

17 replies

Jemima1967 · 15/07/2017 19:02

Just found out today that my husband is growing pot, in pots, on the patio in full view of the neighbours and our children. He didn't seem to think it was an issue. He's only just started so they are only tiny plants as yet. I don't know what to think. Our marriage is pretty rubbish anyway but we are civil to each other and live as housemates. In someways I'd like this to be "the final straw" that could justify leaving him but is that an overreaction?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 15/07/2017 19:05

Why do you need someone to tell you this is the final straw ?

You know it is

What will you wait for ? Social services knocking on your door ?

InvisableLobstee · 15/07/2017 19:05

You must stop him. If he is caught with pot you wouldn't be held responsible but if its growing in full view you could get in trouble. Eagle eyed neighbours sometimes spot this kind of thing and could report to the police if they are feeling mean.

Blossomdeary · 15/07/2017 19:06

Stroll past with some toilet cleaner - goodbye pot. What an idiot!

Original poster
Jemima1967 · 15/07/2017 19:10

I have some severe anxiety issues and struggle to cope on my own but also I struggle to know when I am overreacting and when I have a good reason

OP posts:
MumIsRunningAMarathon · 15/07/2017 19:25

There's your reason op

Thephoneywar · 15/07/2017 19:53

As it grows bigger it's going to stink your house out. Cannabis plants honk like crazy.

Nainer123 · 15/07/2017 20:03

If hes caught with them he's fucked. He will be charged. Plus if he's not wanting to sell it then he's going to smoke it. And you have kids, you don't want them to be around that? That's the most stupid thing ever when he has a family. What a tit. If you are nervous about leaving or not sure whether to leave tell him to get rid of them or you're gone. Then you'll know if of its worth saving.

Original poster
Jemima1967 · 15/07/2017 20:35

Thing is he probably would get rid of them (or at least pretend to) but he would be very sullen, depressed and make out that was my fault for "forbidding" him to do what he wants. He hasn't lived like a married person for a long time....

OP posts:
BewareOfDragons · 15/07/2017 20:41

You have got to get rid of the plants -- and him by the sounds of it.

What's to say he wouldn't tell the police they're yours if they showed up? It could all be a right mess. He's jeopardizing you and your children's futures.

InvisableLobstee · 15/07/2017 20:44

Tough it out if he does that. Who cares if he sulks really? Just ignore him and carry on. You need to show him he can't control you that way.

Original poster
Jemima1967 · 15/07/2017 21:17

The problem is that because of my mental health condition he can! I need to create a safe space for myself to move to before I can rock the boat

OP posts:
Thefutureisbright2017 · 15/07/2017 21:30

Round up in the pots, they'll be dead in a few days and tell him that's the end of it. He needn't know you killed them.
You might find your mental health improves away from him. Make plans. Flowers

thebigbluedustbin · 15/07/2017 21:34

He doesn't need to agree to get rid of the plants. Just get rid of them yourself. If (when) he is caught YOU will be arrested and charged as well.

And make plans to leave. It will be hard. You will be fine. Once you leave.

InvisableLobstee · 15/07/2017 21:34

To be honest I wouldn't stay with someone who grew pot. It just shows he is not the kind of person you can rely on to support you in life and raising a family.

myusernamewhichisthis · 15/07/2017 21:38

if you are caught you may lose your house if its a housing association or council house.

if you are caught he will be charged with cultivation offences.

if they are on full view its likely someone will phone 101.

what are your circumstances? it would be my que to leave.

Original poster
Jemima1967 · 15/07/2017 22:09

My circumstances are not the best. I have literally no money. A small part time job and am trying to get a new business venture off the ground.

OP posts:
Angeldt · 16/07/2017 23:07

Buy weedkiller ! = sorted.

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