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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Getting back in the game

2 replies

craftsy · 15/07/2017 17:50

I'm separated from my addict husband. We've been living apart for years while he worked on his addictions and "proved to me that he was sober" (he didn't). Apart from a few times 3 years ago, when I thought he was in a better place, we haven't had sex in 5 years. At times I'm honestly so bloody horny I can't think straight. I've always had a very high sex drive and often found our marriage frustrating because (with hindsight I can see that) my husband's alcoholism was affecting our sex life even from quite early on in our relationship.

Yet, I don't feel at all ready to be in a relationship. It's been a hard fought battle to free myself of my ex. To secure a home for me and my child. I'm mostly loving single parenthood and don't want to disrupt the really great dynamic and home life that I've created between the two of us. And to be honest, I just wouldn't have the time to give to a relationship even if I did feel ready for it. Single parenthood is just not conducive to dating.

I'm tempted to try some sort of hook-up websites but very put off by the amount of men who are likely to be married. I have no issue with casual sex, if no-one is getting hurt. Back in the last millennium, when I was single, I enjoyed the occasional one night stand or friends with benefits relationship. But at this age, it all seems so much more complicated. And I would hate, hate, hate to be a part of destroying a marriage.

OP posts:
noego · 15/07/2017 18:40

Hook up/casual dating sites are frequented by married men and women for that matter. You only have to see some of the threads on here to know that.
FWB might be the better way to go. You can befriend them first, suss out that they are genuinely single. Once that is ascertained then discuss the "benefits" arrangement.
I prefer Friends and lovers to FWB. But then again my arrangements are different to most.

BubblingUp · 15/07/2017 19:36

The dating sites are full of men looking for no strings attached sex. Some of these men are even single. If you put it in your profile, you will be bombarded with men contacting you. You can be very picky.

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