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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

ED is destroying me

8 replies

Iwanttobe8stoneagain · 15/07/2017 08:41

So DH and I have been together 10 years DS who is 5. At first our sex life was great but it started becoming less frequent maybe once every 2weeks a. Few years into the relationship. Not really enough for me but everything else really good so you compromise don't you. He refused to have sex right the way through pregnancy. After it was perhaps every couple of months. Re was reluctant to try for another baby but then agreed although getting him in the mood more than once a month was like pulling teeth. We've given up on the idea of another child now which breaks my heart. He's now struggling to either get an erection or maintain it. He's been to the dr and had bloods done all fine. He's now putting off going back. When entry and discuss it it's all about him never how it makes me feel. I feel rejected, fat ugly and undesirable. One of my best friends who is a bloke assures me I'm anything but those things and if we weren't both married he most definately would as apparently I'm very sexy. But my DH makes me feel anything but. We are intimate kissing and cuddling he does loads for me and my son but I have a high libido. When I see women on here complains of their DH always after one thing I actually feel jealous and would love a low libido so this wasn't a huge problem. Last time my DH ended up using a vibrator on me, but I want him. I do love him but can't imagine life without sex forever. I end up sobbing about this so often. Has anyone successfully turned this around? Both his previous LTR have ended with the girl having an affair so Might be a long term problem sorry it's so long

OP posts:
pickapartthatsnew · 15/07/2017 08:50

I am in a very similar situation. Except we are like mates raising 2DCs. No kissing or cuddling or anything else. Didn't think I would be nearly celibate at 35 😔

Aquamarine1029 · 15/07/2017 14:04

Would he be willing to try a low dose of testosterone? I know you said his levels are "fine" but that doesn't mean the level is right for him.

Gemini69 · 15/07/2017 14:09

I feel sorry for him.. OP

Iwanttobe8stoneagain · 15/07/2017 22:21

He has said he will give viagra a go think he was hoping something was wrong that they could identify and sort. I've said in the meantime we'll just do other things to try and get donecintimacy I just wish we could just go for it like normal couples.

OP posts:
JustMumNowNotMe · 16/07/2017 11:47

Why Gemini? He has a problem but won't tey to fix it, as OP said he won't go back to the doctor. Why is it unreasonable of the OP to want a loving,intimate relationship with her husband?!

Gemini69 · 16/07/2017 18:32

I feel VERY sorry for him x

mummydoc123 · 16/07/2017 18:45

I'm sorry to say I think this is probably more common than you think. Not that that really helps. This happened to me, but at aged 30. It's gotten easier with time (the past decade) but does have a huge psychological impact.

Gemini69 · 16/07/2017 19:37

I agree mummydoc123 ... I sympathise with anyone enduring such issues .. it must be very difficult x

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