I feel so lost

[Spacebound]

Hi, I really don't know where to start with this. I'm feeling so down lately. Iv been with my husband 15 years, married for 3 and I absolutely adore him but lately things between us feel distant and strained. For the last 5 weeks he has been out with people from work every Friday, I don't mind him going out but lately it just seems excessive and he never seems to turn down a night out. We have just returned from a few days away and I thought things felt better but they don't.

I feel really fed up with work at the moment, I can't get my promotion that I have been trying for so long, I feel useless! I want us to make plans as we have been talking about moving house but I feel unable to put any plans in motion because of my job. The more I think about it lately the more I feel like my husband has the final say on every decision or plan we make. He is quite difficult to talk to at times as he shrugs everything off as not a problem. I'm sorry if this seems like a pity post I don't mean for it to be like that I just feel really lost at the moment and I was hoping someone could point me in the right direction

Thank you....

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling shit.

Do you have any hobbies? What do you do in your spare time or what have you always wanted to try as an activity?

I go to a yoga class every week and the gym. Other than that I don't really have any hobbies, I don't particularly want to do anything else really. I like to look after our house, tidying, cooking etc.

Iv tried talking to my husband but I'm getting nowhere he just keeps telling me everything will be ok. What can I do?

I think you need to make lists. What do you want for the future and what do you need to do to get there? Do you want to stay where you are or start applying for new jobs? If you want to move house, is it in the same area or somewhere further afield? Decide on what you want first of all, then make plans with your husband as to what he wants and what you'll do together to achieve your plans, be it you sorting your cv out or putting the house on the market. If you're feeling frustrated and stagnant, he may just think you're blowing off steam and not realise that you're wanting to make plans for the future (obviously giving him the benefit of the doubt here).

Also, remember marriage is a partnership. Nobody gets a final say on the big issues; it's supposed to be something you work on together and reach compromises on.