What does Low Contact mean to you re Facebook etc?

[RapunzelsRealMom]

This is not another MIL-bashing thread although it is to do with my relationship with her.

I am LC with MIL due to many years of being treated badly by her (there's no need to go into how she treated me - as I said, I'm not here to MIL-bash - but I am reassured IANBU as DH totally supports me in this).

I am still friends with her on Facebook, although I am not very happy about this.

Mostly, I forget that I am her fb friend - she doesn't concern me. However, increasingly, she 'stalks' me (for want of a better word): 'likes' ancient old pics that she must've trawled through for ages to find, 'shares' personal details (that I am happy for my own small circle of fb friends to know but no one else), sends strange messages, pokes, waves, etc.

None of these things sound horrific - I'm very well aware of that - but when I try so hard to forget about her and ignore her and I steel myself for the occasional visits to her, it really riles me that she does this.

So although DH supports me in not seeing her much (approx once every 3 or 4 months), he would not support me in unfriending her. He tries so hard to get why she upsets me, but really can't 'get' this. I'm not sure I can myself. I just know that when I see these reminders of her, I feel really anxious, stressed and nervy.

For info, the Low Contact situation has only ever been discussed between me and DH. She pretends that everything is fine, she's not the type of person to discuss this with. She plays the victim very well.

So, in summary, unfriend her or suck it up to avoid a scene?

Put her on the restricted profile view. And leave it there.

Yes, just change your settings so she can't see your posts.

I'll need to google that. Thanks

Block her or whatever it is you can do.

You can customise your settings so that if you post anything you can select "show to all my friends except...".

I have my MIL on my restricted view list, along with a couple of ex colleagues/acquaintances who I can't delete for various reasons.

I've googled this and it looks useful, however, as I understand it, she'll still be able to trawl through my old posts and pics, etc.

I have, in the past, deleted loads of fb pics because of this, which I really regret. Does restricted view only stop her from seeing future posts?

You can restrict old posts as well.

Not sure how you do it with old posts but any new posts and pics you can restrict to everyone bar her seeing them.

Yep, like others have said, you can restrict what she sees. This includes past posts as well. Have a look through the privacy settings on FB.

Also if she is sharing your posts it is still only your fb friends that will see them, her friends won't provided your profile is set to "friends only" and not public.

Thanks so much!

And yes my posts are seen by friends only - that makes the sharing a bit easier to handle.

I have now put her on restricted view. I'm waiting for the fall out when she asks what's happened to my fb page. She scours it most days, apparently. Deny all knowledge??

You can block specific people from seeing posts and use privacy settings so she can't see your older ones.

If she questions it, say you've decided to use Facebook less. Or if she's got mutual fb friends that might give it away, just claim technology fail and act dumb. Unless you're a computer buff.

Category That's the plan. Deny all knowledge!

You can go onto her profile where there will be a drop-down list where it says 'friends'. From that list there's an option to put her on a 'restricted' profile. That should mean she'll see nothing except what you have set as public. (Which is ideally just your profile pic and header pic). Had to do this too with a nosy family member. Good luck!

As well as the restrictions you can "unfollow" her so that you don't see anything she posts. With the "pokes" if you don't "read" it, poke back or delete it, it'll stay there indefinitely so she won't be able to do it again.