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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

feeling very confused

4 replies

raspberrysuicide · 14/07/2017 11:32

I'm 41 years old, I have never had a very high sex drive and even when in a relationship with someone I've felt sex is something to be endured rather than enjoyed. In fact I feel repulsed at the thought of someone putting their penis inside me.
It was one of the reasons I separated from my husband to be honest.
I've been single for over 2 1/2 years and have been in a relationship with a man for about 1 year. I am disabled and he was also disabled, because of this we couldn't have sexual intercourse at all which was fine with me! That seems to have fizzled out (long story!) now and I have been thinking about dating again.
This is where I'm confused: I have been thinking that maybe I might be gay. Does it work like that?
I have always been open minded about lesbians and have thought how nice it must be to be with a girl rather than a man.
I've never ever thought I could be gay myself up until now. I haven't felt attracted to another woman but I can look at women and appreciate that they are attractive, dress well etc
I know a few lesbian couples, but not well enough to ask them about this sort of stuff.

what shall I do?

OP posts:
raspberrysuicide · 14/07/2017 11:58

I do have quite a few girl crushes, I just realised!

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 14/07/2017 13:42

Maybe you're gay or maybe you're asexual

Do you have sexual feelings towards women? Have you tried looking at lesbian porn to see if it does anything for you?

raspberrysuicide · 14/07/2017 14:31

That's a good idea, I haven't looked at lesbian porn but I will now!
Thank you

OP posts:
PaintingOwls · 14/07/2017 14:38

I would recommend looking at some more niche and independent stuff like GodsGirls, rather than mainstream lesbian porn which is usually catered to the male gaze.

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